If Only
by AsianFlipGurl
Summary: If only, he knew. If only, she knew. What would the knight give up to save his princess? What happens when the princess doesn't remember him? Draaaaama!
1. Thoughts

**My first attempt at a Princess Tutu fanfic! I fell in love with this anime at the first episode and the entrance song is very beautiful. At first, I thought Fakir was a jerk, but then I fell in LOVE with him when I saw him crying at the pond! He looked so sexy... So he is just keeping things bottled up inside and he has a soft side to him. Aww! So please R&R!**

**Umm, I worked VERY hard on making this fanfic, because I made one before this, but wasn't very proud of it, sooo...I made this one. **

**IMPORTANT: THIS CHAPTER IS JUST A RAMBLE OF THEY'RE TRUE FEELINGS, BUT THE REAL PLOT WILL START IN THE SECOND CHAPTER. IT WILL BE AN ALTERNATE OF FAKIR'S POV AND AHIRU'S POV, STARTING FIRST WITH FAKIR. PLEASE, I ENCOURAGE YOU TO KEEP READING!**

**Disclaimer:I don't own Fakir or Princess Tutu.**

* * *

**Fakir's POV**

If only.

If only she knew how I felt for her. How I looked at her when she was sleeping, how I dreamed of her at night, and how I wished her to become a girl again.

If only if she knew about the stories I tried to write about her coming back to being a girl.

Why did she have to be turned away to a duck in the end? Why did it have to HURT me so?

I wanted to tell her how I wanted, no, _needed_ her and that I loved her.

But she was a duck. And who has heard of a person loving a duck? No one, that's who. Except that before there were animal/people things…

Still, I missed that potential salmon-haired girl. The clumsy, ditzy girl who never stopped until she got it right. She was still here, of course, but just in another form…who couldn't talk. Sure, I could pour out my heart out to her if I wanted to but the only response I would get back would be a teary-eyed face or a smiling one.

I was crazy to think that she would come back even with the many times I have tried, breaking the promise I made with her. There was nothing in this world that would stop me from trying except…you know, _her._

If only.

* * *

**Ahiru's POV**

If only.

If only he knew that I mourned for him. How I wanted to wipe the tears from his face when he cried, how I wanted to dance with her again, and how I wished to become a girl again.

If only he knew that I silently prayed to become a girl again.

The truth was, that the story did end a tragedy, as Drossellmeyer said. He just didn't know it ended that way for me. It was true that I am living with Fakir, as he said to stay beside me for the rest of his life. There was just no way to communicate with him.

He was acting strange around me lately. I was tearing my _eyes_ out trying to understand what was wrong with him, or trying to get him to notice me. I think the last time he looked at me was a month ago…

Still, I missed that tall dark-haired boy that cheered me up with the small, soft smile. Nothing cheeky, like what I had. He seemed so tired lately, but I haven't gotten around to see all those papers he threw in the garbage.

I was trying _so_ hard to let him know that I cared for him, that I loved him. Fakir was _my_ knight in shining armor, not Mytho's.

If only.

* * *

**Drossellmeyer's POV**

Ooh, tension, do we have now, Uzura?

"Don't say that about my friends-zura!"

So it was a tragedy after all, huh… I have a GREAT plan!

"It better not be bad-zura. Or I will give you headache with my drum again-zura."

Well, I had no luck with tragedies, so why not these sappy romances?

"There's ALWAYS problems in romance stories-zura! Either love or hate-zura."

Yes, yes, I know…

"Why do you put those dots at the end-zura?"

Uzura, Uzura. You've still got so much to learn…

"See? There it is again!"

* * *

**Well? Did you like it? Hate it? Please review! Umm, the reason that Drossellmeyer is writing without quotes...will be in the next chapter. Thanks!**


	2. Forgotten

**Ahiru's POV**

I was dreaming peacefully when the noise of constant thumping of Fakir's shoes down the wooden stairs startled me and woke me up.

He yelled at the top of his lungs. "AHIRU! Don't you know when to keep quiet?!" Not fair. I was sleeping!

"Quack!" I asked him what was wrong, pleading to know with my eyes, but he could not bring himself to have contact. Even if he had looked at me, merely gave me a _glance_, I think he still wouldn't understand. I then realized where I stood in his life, then.

He closed his eyes impatiently and continued, "There it goes again! The incessant quacking of yours has sunk into my head. This is not a proper place to write; I'm going for a walk…" He trailed off.

Before I could respond, the door was slammed shut violently. I stood up from the woven basket that Charon made for me. He didn't say anything when Fakir took me in his care, even though he forgot everything that happened when I turned human. He figured it must have been his hormones.

I stretched my frail feathers out weakly as I watched five of my plumage float slowly to the floor. I sighed inwardly. I couldn't understand why my feathers were falling out easily all of a sudden and why I got so tired all the time.

I started to venture up those horrid stairs and instantaneously my back ached. It took a while for me to walk up those stairs.

Finally, after I got up the stairs, what Fakir called a _hyper _girl, couldn't get up the fifteen stairs in just two minutes. I did it in twenty.

I squeezed myself through the open crack in Fakir's room. I've grown so accustomed to Fakir's room that I could walk around with my eyes closed without hitting anything. Besides, it wasn't like he had something there to humor me. All there was in there were his basic needs: a bed, a candle, and a chest to hold his clothes. The only thing that appealed to me was his bookshelf. I loved the way he read to me, with much eloquence. His voice was like honey when he read, despite his usual cold-hearted, snappy attitude.

I flapped up onto the wooden desk, losing a feather in the process. There was a familiar book set upon it, _Romeo and Juliet_, to which Fakir always recited to me each time it was the defeat of the Raven's anniversary. It was nearing the third.

I remembered so vividly that day but no one else did, except Fakir, Mytho, and Rue. No one recalled me as a friend, as a ballet student, and nobody, I repeat, _nobody_, recalled me as a friend. I bet even Fakir didn't even retain my human look. My picture was fading.

.

...

.

**Fakir's POV**

I was confused for a second as I glanced around the lake and I couldn't find Ahiru, in her usual place, swimming in the water. Of course, I left her back at home. That was a big mistake. Ahiru was getting weaker and weaker by the days and I couldn't see what was happening to her.

That scene back there at the lake house, which I now called home for Ahiru and me, was just me _worrying_ about her. It was wrong to go off at her like that, I know, but I was so frustrated why she was getting so sick. I couldn't stop _thinking _about her.

I knew I couldn't write about her to change her life but regardless, I picked up my quill, dipped it in ink, and made a worthless attempt to get something down on paper. Even if I _could_, there was nothing coming to mind at the moment. _Nothing I could change between us…_

The ink dripped from the quill, staining the snow-white paper as I held it propped over the paper. Then I stabbed the paper and the midnight-black ink splashed on the paper. Scrutinizing it closer, it resembled the scar across my chest. I looked away. Once somebody saw that scar, it immediately made them defensive. I didn't like that.

I thought of Ahiru. Seeing that scar for herself, she never got like that. Instead, she smiled as if it weren't there.

As I was going to crumple a perfectly wasted paper, I noticed that the ink wasn't moving downwards, but up. I was shocked for a second, but it was hard for me to stay like that. I once believed that the impossible could never happen. _Once._

The ink swooshed around to make a whirl and set in its rightful place. The ink made words that read,

**Hello Fakir. Long time, no see.**

"What the hell is happening?" I muttered out loud to myself, just enough for only me to hear. Or so I thought.

**Don't you know your own grandfather, boy…? And me, too-zura!**

"Drosselmeyer-san? Uzura-chan? What are you doing here? Well…why are you even…_writing _to me?"

The letters swished around to make even smaller letters but a bigger text.

**What? I can't talk to my own grandson. Well, never mind about that. There is a problem I have with you… and Ahiru.**

I growled. "Of course; I should have known it was you. You're the reason why she's always so tired. What are you going to do to her? Are you planning to give her a _devastating _ending or whatnot again?"

**No, no. I just want the best for you two. Together.**

I snorted. "Coming from the man who gave her a bad ending. Besides, what do you mean, _together_? It is perfectly clear that I do not like that _clumsy, ditzy _who talks excessively. And to make matters worse, she's a DUCK." I lied through my teeth.

**You recognize that imperfections in her so that you can convince yourself that you don't like her. But the fact that she's a duck can be changed…**

My eyes widened in horror. "Wha… What do you mean '_that can be changed'_? Drosselmeyer-san? Uzura-chan?" Terribly, the ink the swish around like before. Oh, no.

I violently shoved the papers off my lap and ran as fast as I could to the lake house. Damn, why did it have to be all the way around this big pond?

.

...

.

**Ahiru's POV**

My head was nodding off while watching Fakir get exasperated over a measly piece of paper. Why was he so boring to watch…?

Finally, after hopeless attempts to keep myself awake, I fell asleep.

I was somewhat in a dream. I couldn't say that it was a nightmare, but it was much of a dream either. My vision was blurred.

I dreamt that I was dancing the _pas de deux _alone, and that I was a girl. How peculiar. I haven't even _thought _about that day since now. But when I tried to speak, no words would come out. I was in a familiar place, with the name at the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I danced on top of a gear, in murky waters, yet I could breathe easily. I could barely see anything.

A gear appeared in front of me and out came a recognizable man with the rusty red cloak and the geisha-like puppet who taps her drum.

"Why, why, it's Ahiru! How I've missed you so!" He exclaimed in mock surprise.

My mouth was ajar, but I still couldn't bring myself to talk.

"Wondering why you can't talk?" He chortled, clutching at his chest. Oh, no. How is he doing this? Unless…

"I'm still the author of this story! The story still lives even though the author has died! It doesn't mean that I _left _Fakir to this story for a while and that he destroyed the machine that wrote it doesn't mean that I can still write it!" He laughed cruelly.

Uzura pounded her sticks on his legs and Drosselmeyer let out a yelp. "What was that for?" He demanded, rubbing his sore spot.

"I didn't come here to see you make fun of my friends-zura!" She yelled back. "And you said that this won't be a tragedy! She probably doesn't even know what is going on-zura!"

She's right; I didn't. I did a _grand jeté _since I still didn't have the power to stop dancing. Great, I couldn't stop that too?

Drosselmeyer threw up his hands in exasperation. "Fine, fine. I'll give back her voice and make her stop dancing _at this moment_."

He snapped his fingers loudly (I wondered how an old man like him could still do that) and in an instant, I stopped mid-turn in my _fouetté rond de jambe en tournant_. I wasn't surprised that I could dance so well in a dream, especially with someone controlling me. They looked patiently at me and I realized that they were waiting for me to speak. My mouth was agape, but even though I had the power to speak, I felt sick to my stomach. All of the compacted memories were coming back all at once. I suddenly didn't want to hear how my squeaky voice sounded like.

Taking a deep breath, I demanded, "What is happening?!" A small gasp escaped my mouth and I instantly covered my mouth. Uzura, peeking out behind Drosselmeyer's cloak, snickered. My voice sounded so more…_sophisticated._

"A romance story, Ahiru! You're in a romance story now! You know, like those sappy little things with some antagonism along the way." He exclaimed happily, which was so out of character, if I do say so myself.

My eyes squinted at him suspiciously. "I thought you only wrote tragedies?" It was more of a question than a statement.

"Well, since I had no luck in that area, I changed over to a new leaf." I rolled my eyes. Mmh-hmm, _right. _As _if _he could give up his loved addiction.

"But you can't have your voice!" He teased, cackling. Nothing came out of my mouth as I opened it again. Great, just _great_. _Just _when I start having a nice voice, it's taken away from me.

"You said—"

Drosselmeyer cut Uzura off. "Yes, I _know _I said that. But it could be a romance _or _a tragedy. Whichever one flows. It's Fakir's job to shape his love life. I'm just trying to ignite it a little. He's making no effort to love Ahiru."

Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain come to my head and the last thing I heard was a loud thump. Everything went blank.

.

...

.

**Fakir's POV **

The door of my room was slightly ajar, but I could not hear any signs of life coming from inside. Opening the door feebly, afraid to see what was inside, I saw papers fluttering upwards and cascading to the ground. I was half a second late.

"Ahiru. AHIRU! Where the hell is she?" I ran my hand through my disheveled hair, my eyes searching frantically. I shivered as a cold breeze ran past my neck. It seemed to whisper.

_Lake of Despair… Lake of Despair…_

I got the idea and ran as fast as I could in my whole entire life. The trees and bushes and the countless unearthed roots didn't help at all. I had bruises and cuts and a scrape on my knee. I finally got to the dark, murky lake and dived into the water. I swam slowly to the bottom of the lake, the temperature getting colder and colder by the passing minutes.

Ahiru, where are you?

I passed the gears that showed my past: Edel's burning, Rue dancing, and concluding with me and Ahiru dancing the _pas de duex _at the same exact spot I was at right now.

Swimming deeper and deeper, I faced the notorious man in the sinister cloak and Uzura-chan's bright green hair.

"What's—" I was about to insult the man before I saw Ahiru—human Ahiru—lying unconscious on the ground. Her hair was the same pink color and she had grown into a beautiful young woman with curves. Although I could tell that she was still shorter than I, I knew that she had grown. Breasts were slightly visible against her clothes. The mere thought of that made me blush.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!" I yelled at Drosselmeyer. Grandfather or no grandfather, nobody messes with my Ahiru.

"Relax," he assured me. "She just lost her memory." He said it as if it were the most simplest thing in the world.

"LOST HER MEMORY? WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'LOST HER MEMORY'?!"

"She lost the memory of you, me, and ever being Princess Tutu or even herself." He stated calmly.

"So how do you suppose she's going to get it back?" I demanded.

One word was needed to elaborate the whole thing: "You."

"There's only one shard you need to return." He continued. "And that's her heart."

With that, he disappeared into thin air and left me with the unconscious girl. All that has happened today finally sunk in and a rock formed in my stomach.

She…didn't remember me.

* * *

**Well, in case you didn't get why Drosselmeyer doesn't write himself with quotes, it's because he's the writer. Umm, I hope I got them in character... Please R&R!**


	3. Bad Habit

**Ahiru's POV**

The vomiting sunlight caused me to open my eyes lazily, only to close them back again. Then my eyes fully widened. I sat up, bumping my hand on the wall next to me and I winced. Looking around this weird place, I found myself on a bed, with a desk with dust to show that it hasn't been used in a long time, and a mirror in the corner. I stood up on my rather dainty feet, wobbling a little. I got the hang of it and hobbled off to the mirror.

I didn't know what was "beautiful" was but I can tell that I was close to it. I had pink salmon hair that cascaded to my waist and a slim figure. I had cerulean blue eyes that screamed sadness or something somewhat close to that. I guess I could understand. I didn't know who I was, where I was, or how I got here. I kept all that I knew from _studies _in my mind but I didn't remember anything having to do with my life. I was frustrated at this point in time.

My eyes were diverted to the door that I curiously peeked out of. A scent of porridge roused me fully and I was unconsciously creeping down the stairs, being dragged by my footing. I stood at the bottom of the stairway and there stood a tall adolescent, maybe a year or two older than I was (though I still didn't remember my age), standing at the stove, absentmindedly stirring. He was very tall, and from where I stood, I could see that I only reached up to his shoulders. I knew he wasn't a man because of the slender face and soft features. He looked tired, with dark circlets under his eyes.

I coughed. No response. I coughed again, louder. No response. I coughed once more. No response.

"WHO AM I? WHAT AM I DOING HERE? HOW DID I GET HERE? WHO ARE YOU? I DON'T _UNDERSTAND!_" I finally shrieked out of impatience. The teen swiveled around on his heels and looks at me. He had an aghast look on his face before calming himself.

What in the world was happening?

.

…

.

**Fakir's POV**

"_Ahiru is fine. Don't worry." He assured breezily as I paced back and forth my room. The old man had paid me a visit. _

_I retorted. "How am I __**not **__supposed to worry?! Ahiru's unconscious with no recollection of who she is. Her story is long_—_and a bad, upsetting one at that." _

"_I think you just don't want to face the truth. You love her, you want her to remember her past. More precisely, you want her to remember __**you**__." He paused, then added, "For her to remember her past, there are five important things of her past life that was most important to her or had the most influence on her. Find these things around town. I'm sure it won't be hard to find."_

"WHO AM I? WHAT AM I DOING HERE? HOW DID I GET HERE? WHO ARE YOU? I DON'T _UNDERSTAND!_" An ear-piercing scream made way into my ears. I winced and whizzed around. There stood Ahiru, her cascading pink locks matching the tinge of her face.

"Please sit and I'll explain everything." I said politely, as if it were our first time meeting. She complied and I gave her a bowl of porridge. "You eat, and I'll talk." She put a spoonful in her mouth cautiously before eating more ravenously.

"I was fishing by the river, when I saw you. You had no cuts or bruises miraculously. Since this town is small and I hadn't seen you around here, I knew that you just came here…as a tourist or whatever. You only had a suitcase and a nametag which said, _Ahiru_. I figured that'd be your name." I replenished her bowl and she gestured for me to continue, food in her mouth.

"I think you must have hit your head on a rock or something hard because you depleted your memory. But you're welcome to stay until you regain it."

She gulped. "I didn't see a suitcase in my room."

She was observant. "Really? I'm pretty sure I put it in there. Go check." She smiled devilishly.

As soon as she was on the first step, I stood up, looking for a paper and pen. I looked through the scattered mess of our living room, but I could only find a dull quill. That wouldn't work.

"It's not here!" Ahiru sang.

"Keep looking; I'm _pretty sure _that I placed it somewhere in that cluttered room!" I responded.

Looking down at me, she retorted, "Well, I'm pretty sure of something; that room is more of a mess than the room you put _me _in! Why is it like that, in the first place?"

"Keep looking!" I scoffed nervously. She just rolled her eyes.

I selected to condescend to use a quill of Ahiru's, _before _she turned human. Now, the paper…

Most of the paper was used up or just plain gone. I had no idea where it could have gone; I was sure that it was here yesterday. Hmm… I guess I'll just have to settle for that crumpled paper.

**Ahiru's suitcase was located underneath her bad, packed with all her essentials.**

"Still not here! Are you _lying _to me?"

"Have you looked underneath the bed?" I demanded.

She paused, "I think so…"

"Check again!" I exclaimed, knowing full well that I had an unfair advantage to this, considering my ability to make things I write about come true (except about Ahiru).

…

"Oh."

Just then I found that **I.O.U. -Charon **at the bottom of the drawer. "Urghh…old man…" I muttered.

Charon ambled in unobtrusively as he stared at the mess of a living room. "What _happened_ here?"

"Hmm…apparently _you _took all of my writing material." Ahiru bounded down the stairs and I introduced them whilst Ahiru hugged Charon as if a long-lost friend. Later, Charon told me that he remembered, _everything._

"Well, we'll be going around town to buy new materials, okay?"

Charon waved dismissively. I took it as a yes.

"Okay," I exhaled, "Let's go."


	4. Fatigued

**Fakir's POV**

"Wow! This place is just…amazing!" You wouldn't find somebody say that about Kinkan Town. Modern technology didn't exactly…_exist _here; wood was our usual building materials.

But this was Ahiru.

"Only you, Ahiru. Only you." I muttered.

She ran in front of me, nearly tripping over her own feet. She faced me and ran backward. "What do you mean; you don't like living in this town?"

I stared at her so intently that she had to avert her eyes elsewhere and twirl her hair around her finger nervously. I closed my eyes, already tired. "No, what I meant to say was that, Kinkan Town isn't very…contemporary. In a sort of way, we _are _kind of Amish."

She cocked her head to her side, confused. "Amish?" Apparently, Ahiru still had _a lot _to learn.

"Amish people are those who don't use enhanced tools and materials that some people in other places do." I struggled for words. It was hard explaining probably every single thing to Ahiru.

She made a face. "So does that mean we're deprived?"

"Not exactly. I mean, we still get by things right." I sighed. "It's just too hard working like this each day."

"Eh? But how can you _not _love this place? It's full of peace and serenity! And if you don't like living in this place, why haven't you considered leaving already?" She demanded.

Looking her straight in the eye, I answered thoughtfully, "I think there's something special attracting me here." Oh, Ahiru, what you don't know…

That response stumped her. But before she found an appropriate reaction for that, we already arrived at the shop and her mind was turned elsewhere. We went inside, skimming over the merchandise. Well, Ahiru was tripping over the products while I, on the other hand, helped her up, not even bothering to make use of my time and get something suitable to buy for my needs. I picked a few packets of paper and quills to pay at the register.

While I did that, Ahiru looked around curiously. I wondered how she remembered how to talk, how to walk while she had no memory of anything that happened before. Perhaps it was instinct. If a baby didn't know anything when it was still newborn, why did he stand up?

Ahiru snapped me back to reality. "Fakir-san? FAKIR-SAN?"

I breathed in deeply and asked sharply, "What, Ahiru?"

She glared daggers at me. "You weren't answering me. What is that big building over there?" Ahiru pointed to Kinkan Town Academy. "So far, it's the biggest place here, so it_ must _be important."

Tensing up, I led her past the gates, using my spare key. I really didn't want to, but who could refuse a face like _that_?

Today was a weekend so you couldn't see many people walking the cemented sidewalks even though the students lived in dorms. Ahiru ran in front of me again, walking backwards.

I sighed heavily. "You'll fall if you keep doing that. Also, you should look around if you wanted to come in here. If you're just facing me, it's a waste then…"

She cocked her head to the side, ignoring my statement. "Why do you have a spare key, Fakir-san?" I swear, I heard a vein pop in my head because of my frustration with this girl. I winced.

"Fakir-san?"

"Ahiru, please just stop calling me that. It makes me feel so _old_." Usually, women in the forties complained about petty things like this. Was I becoming moody and whatnot? Maybe it was this popped vein.

Her blue eyes brightened. "Okay, Fakir-_kun_!" She respired deeply as I sat down at the rendezvoused water fountain. She whirled around adorably and bent down to pluck one of the many flowers growing in the garden.

I don't know what it was about her that made me fall madly in love with her. I was sure that I haven't felt this same way about anyone else before. There was so many pretty girl out there; fan girls obsessed over Mytho and me. But I felt that she was different. She didn't squeal at every touch or widen her eyes in response when I merely looked at her. She was _real_, I guess.

Sighing for what seemed like the millionth time today, I glanced into the water, for some way to wash away all my troubles. An ancient man who was supposed to be dead by this time stared back at me. I examined the things around me with a curious eye. It appeared like time had stopped again.

"Will you leave me alone for _once_?! You've already taken away Ahiru. What do you want from me now?" I yelled angrily.

"Oh, I don't think I've done just _that_. Just put in some action." He grinned haughtily.

I grimaced. "You wizened old man! Why I—"

He interrupted with a palm face up. "Respect your elders, son, especially those who are related to you. Now why did you lie to her? That wasn't necessary."

"Uh…"

Within a blink of an eye, he appeared before me and slapped the back of my head. I flailed my arms, almost falling into the water.

"Are you a true writer? 'Uh' is not in the dictionary!"

"I was protecting her from the truth." I answered firmly, changing the subject. I surprised myself by not losing my sanity over him. "Do you really expect me to relive that life over again?" He smiled smugly and left me on that note. I relished the moment; I didn't have to deal with the sinister old man and the unceasing questions of Ahiru.

Time started again.

Ahiru fell face first on the ground; she was standing on one leg when time stopped. She remained there and I wondered if she thought it was worth getting up. She must be so embarrassed.

But I positioned myself in front of her and supported my arms on my knees. I shook her gently. "Ahiru."

She lay still. I picked her up to see that she was sleeping soundly. That was so typical of her but she wasn't used to this new body of hers and she was previously fatigued in her old one.

I walked back home, grumbling. She wasn't heavy, but I had all these groceries and materials to carry along with her.

My body was exhausted by the time we returned home. The fact that I stayed up late the day before worrying whether or not Ahiru was conscious didn't help.

I didn't want to venture up the stairs so I set the groceries in the refrigerator, one of the few things that were close to modern technology. I put the materials in their rightful places, only to see that the things Charon took was put back. I was too tired to be furious.

I lay on the couch and pulled Ahiru close. I didn't care how this would look like to Charon in the morning…much.


	5. Moonlit Whispers

**Ahiru's POV**

_They hovered over me, kicking me as if I were some piece of garbage. I was helpless… There was no one to save me and I couldn't even save myself._

I shot up, my hair damp and my forehead drenched with sweat. I inhaled and exhaled but my breathing stayed uneven.

Where was I again? The last thing I remembered was falling…

I glimpsed over to the side where Fakir lay. He wasn't even shaken from me waking up.

I stood up gently, not wanting to rouse him albeit the fact that he could seem to sleep through an explosion at the moment. I staggered drunkenly towards the sink, hoping that cold water would clear my senses. I splashed water feverishly on my face and neck, though it seemed not to do any good.

"A…hiru?" Fakir's voice was kissed with deep sleep but it remained the same husky voice I knew.

"Ahiru." He called out again, more awake. I couldn't answer, no matter how much I wanted to; words wouldn't come out.

Then I collapsed into a crumpled heap on the ground.

"Ahiru!" I perceived Fakir's now-nervous voice emerge above me. He picked me up without effort and ventured up the stairs.

He dropped me ever-so-gently on the bed and gawked over me, with such a sad face that I had to turn away from him.

"What am I ever going to do with you?" He moaned.

I laughed uneasily, trying to hide my despondency from my voice. Unfortunately, Fakir saw through me and glared. "Are you mad?" I managed to croak out.

"Why should I be?" He kneeled on one knee so that he could see my face more distinctly.

I converted my eyes from him and to the wall. "For waking you up." I said simply.

He roared with laughter, despite his scowl in the morning. Maybe he was a "night-person."

"Well, I'll let you sleep. Goodnight." He swiveled to walk towards the door, but I grasped the cloth of his shirt firmly.

"No," I trembled with fear, glancing around the darkness of the room, noticing the similarity to my nightmare, "Please, don't leave me."

He sighed heavily. I scooted over and patted the space next to me, beckoning him to lay there.

Fakir grimaced, but complied. He muttered something that sounded like, "Charon will officially _kill_…"

He twisted away from me, his face out of my view. We lay back-to-back and I fidgeted after a while; I couldn't sleep, I _wouldn't _sleep. I was too petrified to relive that nightmare once more.

"Ahiru." Fakir's husky voice said. I turned to deal with him. "Are you uncomfortable with me sleeping in your bed? It seems that you're unaccustomed with me. I could sleep on the chair if you want me too."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't be so modest, Fakir-kun. Besides, I don't want to hear your complaints about your back in the morning. _If _I ever get through the night." I shuddered involuntarily.

His emerald eyes appeared to be soft in the moonlight. "Perhaps it would be good to tell me about it?" It wasn't much of a statement, rather a question.

I gulped uneasily. The notion of telling Fakir, I mean, _Fakir_, wasn't exactly on my list of priorities. But there was no way out of this, right? After all, he _was _sleeping beside me.

I took a deep breath. "There were…these birds. And they were larger than normal. Big, black birds. For some reason, they started pecking at me and then, kicking me… It was so real… And I was so sore…so helpless… I don't know why…abandoned…" My voice cracked. "It seems so childish, I know, but it hurt so much." I clutched his arm whilst tears streamed rapidly down my face.

Fakir pulled me close to his chest. "It's okay… It's okay to be afraid. I'm here. Nothing's going to happen to you. Not you." He coaxed.

I wailed, staining big droplets of tears on his shirt. He didn't seem bothered by it; his main concern was to get me to calm down.

Fakir stroked my hair at the back of my neck, something that mollified me very much. His slow, even breathing caused his chest to fluctuate, helping me respire at the same pace. He whispered soothing words in my ear all throughout.

"Arigatou, Fakir-kun," I thanked him, once I relaxed.

"Baka," He teased.

I didn't move, make an effort to pull away. Instead, I lolled against him. I was falling asleep in his arms. Warmth radiated from his skin. He generated protection and…care. Someone, who I'd actually lost hope in, was there. It was funny how he towered over me but we fit together perfectly as pieces of a puzzle.

.

…

.

**Fakir's POV**

_Is she okay?_

I thought to myself as I apprehensively pulled my collar. I sat in Kinkan Town Academy, Creative Writing, donned in my blue uniform.

Big mistake.

I spent my time worrying, not paying attention to the teacher. She was having a class discussion about punctuation and comma splice. To me, easy stuff.

I couldn't take my mind off her. Knowing Ahiru, she'd be able to burn down the house in seconds.

But was that the reason why I was thinking about her so much?

**You love her.**

Damn. Now I was hearing Drosselmeyer's voice in my conscience.

**You fell in love with her…for a second time.**

No, I didn't!

**Wait… Scratch that; you're right. You didn't fall in love with her for a second time…**

Thank you, now if you'd kindly get out of my head…?

… **You still loved her as a duck! Simple logic: that's why you preserved hope, writing stories when you knew you were to fail!**

WHAT?!

**How low can you get? I mean, a duck? I thought my grandson could do better than that.**

First off, you shouldn't be saying anything, since you stayed a bitter, old man for the rest of your life, taking out your feelings on your characters. Secondly, _you _were the one who brought her up as a human again, so that she could "fall in love with me the right way" or whatever. Ultimately, loving someone…isn't just by their physical appearance…

**Hah! So you **_**do **_**admit it! **

I don't think I even mentioned that!

I heard his sinister laugh, but he didn't reprimand me further. He knew better than that.

"… This is wrong punctuation. Instead of a comma, you'd use a period. If you didn't correct this, it would be considered a _run-on sentence._" My teacher said, stressing the last syllables.

I came here to improve my writing, not to review things I already knew. This was easy; the teacher didn't even bother with me anymore.

I diverted my attention to outside the window. Spring blossoms hung on trees, swaying lazily from the light breeze. The strawberry bushes, being grown by Freya, were already ripe long before spring season arrived. But something of a pink, salmon color caught my interest… Hair?! Ahiru peeked out of the bush, her eyes flitting from left to right. When she spotted my astonished face, she commenced flailing her arms frantically.

My teacher slapped my desk with a ruler and I almost fell out of my chair. "Are you okay, Fakir-kun? You're turning pale and drifting off a bit. Your classmates already left for lunch."

I stood up, trembling. Why is she here? Has something bad happened? _Did she get her memory back?_

I'd doubt it. Only one day has passed since she converted back human. Although…she did dream of ravens the night prior to this day. Isn't that telling me something?

I sprinted out of the classroom, barely hearing my teacher shout, "Narrative writing tomorrow!"

Not stopping until I arrived at the strawberry bush, I gained some speed avoiding the fan girls.

"_What _are you doing here…without any socks?!" I roared. I shouldn't act this way, reflecting over last night's events…

She didn't seem affected, though. "I was hungry," she simply replied.

I stared at her, dumfounded. "You couldn't wait until I came back?"

She eyed the ground shamefully and pressed her two index fingers together repeatedly. "Well, I didn't know when you were coming back _so_—"

"But seriously, Ahiru, without _socks_? You couldn't be _that _careless." I scoffed.

She protruded her bottom lip and stood akimbo. "Well, excuse me for being human."

_Only for a day, Ahiru. You're human only for a day…

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_**arigatou - thank you  
baka - idiot, moron, stupid**


	6. Fainted

**I am so so sorry. I can't update sooner for you guys, and I know how many people like this. SO anyways, just read on from here! I got to sleep so forgive me for the short replies...  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own this.

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**Review Replies!

kiki900400 - I know things haven't happened yet, but I promise you that in the next chapters, there'll be a LOT.

NakatsuMeMi - I try to get her into character and I love her character in the anime; very funny.

Nuit Songeur - Awwh, thanks, and I do that to when I'm trying to catch up with stories that were already started before I read it. It is, right? How Fakir teases Ahiru in a great moment like this!

shortybubbles27 - Hope you like the update! Classified information, though, I can't tell you anything except that there'll be a LOT of instigating in the next chapters!

Moon Smurf - Hehe, my mother gets mad at me for doing that too! She's like, "I'm going to step on you if you keep doing this..."

xlittlexKarix - What's a story without conflicts? Anyways, you're very right, Fakir can get away with things like that. I think it makes him look even hotter :D.

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**Fakir's POV**

"Are cherry blossoms pink because they are blushing?" Ahiru wondered out loud. She started rambling about how that was color discrimination. "Why can't blushes be…blue or something? Blood is blue until it gets out of your body, right? So why…"

I didn't know why I spent my time with her, why I even _liked _her of the sort. She was absentminded, always spending her time day-dreaming. She still was the same person I knew before she lost her memory. So way was I so uncomfortable around her?

I wondered why I even tried. Trying has exhausted me and I've found out nothing over the past years. Did she like me back? Why did she still stay with me?

I clenched my fists angrily. _She will never love you! She never did and never will. Just give UP!_

We stood outside of the house now and I forced the key into the lock, my lip in a tight line.

"Fakir-kun, what's wrong?" She asked me worriedly.

I shot daggers from my eyes. Why is she still staying here with me? Go on with your own life. You don't need me! "Nothing."

I shoved my clenched hands into my pocket and sprinted up the stairs, two steps at a time. Leaning on the door of my room, I pondered on why I acted that way, especially to Ahiru. I drew my hair back and closed my eyes. Maybe I should go apologize. Later. I wasn't ready to face her and have those thoughts creep back into my head. Then I'll get mad and yell at her for no reason again.

Rubbing my temples with my forefingers, my eyes nearly popped out as I saw two companions and an open book in my room.

"What's wrong, Fakir-san? You're usually calm and collected." The raven-haired beauty sat on my wooden desk, her legs crossed. She wore her Princess Kraehe outfit.

"Who are these people in my room? I don't think I know you." I retorted sarcastically.

She rolled her eyes. "Just because we didn't come for the past…weeks…doesn't mean that we don't care about your _lonely _self. We were making our wedding plans. Isn't that right, Mytho?" She clung possessively to his arm and he nodded. Mytho was always the quiet one, even after he got the shards of his heart back. I guess some things never change.

"Whatever. It's not like you'll be marrying soon. You're not even the proper age!" I shot. I wasn't in the mood for this girl right now.

"Actually, we can do pretty much whatever we want. It's our book." She said lightly.

"Why do you want to get married so quickly? So you can hurry up and _do the deed?_" I shot at her, straightening my posture.

Her ruby eyes flamed. "You're just jealous because nobody wants you."

"Will you two stop fighting like children for once?" Mytho glared. It was unnatural for me to see him like this, Rue or me was always telling him what to do. Rue didn't seem bothered by his act but I winced.

"Where's Ahiru? She's usually so clingy to you." Rue asked, but didn't glance my way.

I breathed out. "There's a problem with that…"

As soon as I said that, they bombarded me with questions. "What happened?" "What did you do _now_?" "Is she okay?" "Are you crazy?" "What is going on through your head?"

I growled. "Shut up! Nothing happened to her… Well…she's human again." I scratched the back of my head.

"That's no problem." Mytho stared at me blankly, but unlike Rue, he wasn't freaking out.

She squealed. "Really?! Now I can talk to someone about the wedding and whatnot! Where is she? Oh, I bet she looks so different--"

"But she lost her memory." I hissed through my teeth and I closed my eyes. "It's as shocking to me as to you two. But I couldn't help it. This was Drosselmeyer's doing."

Instead, they answered, "Did you tell her everything? Or did you lie, which I'm sure that you've done."

"Yes…" I confessed. "I couldn't make her go through her life, especially when it was somewhat of a…bad one… I couldn't… I didn't have the guts… I'm such a sucker."

Mytho walked over to me. "Now stop downing on yourself. I'm sure that she would get her memory back and you would both live happily ever after. Go downstairs and introduce us to her." That was the longest I've ever heard Mytho speak in a long time.

My eyes popped out of its sockets. "Are you kidding me? With Rue in that skimpy little outfit she got on right there? Nope."

He sighed heavily. "She'll go change. Now please go downstairs?"

A long time ago, I had to write them out of the book because we couldn't find a way to get them out of there. Now, Rue had figured out how to put the Raven powers that still lived in her _dark _heart to get put by themselves. Sometimes, it saved me work, but sometimes when they popped out of nowhere, it was just annoying.

Ahiru sat on the couch, her face between her knees, rocking back and forth. I forgot to cook her something to eat…

"Ahiru, I'm so sorry. I forgot." She looked up and glared. But her eyes softened.

"What did I do wrong? Did I say anything bad? I don't want to get people mad like this anymore!" She cried.

A smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. "No… I was just in a bad mood. But, I want you to meet some friends of mine. They…live here time to time."

Suddenly, Rue stormed before me and hugged Ahiru. Mytho padded slowly down the stairs. I looked at him with alarmed eyes that read, _What is she DOING? Stop her!_

"Rue. Stop." Obeying, she pulled Ahiru from her shoulders and looked into her eyes.

Ahiru's eyes widened and widened until they were big as plates. "You're…you're…" And then she fainted in Rue's arms.

"Ahiru!"

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**Please R&R! And once again, sorry for short review replies!**


	7. Care

**I'm ALIVE! Don't worry. Hmm, I see the last time I have updated this was...the end of January. Yessh, all I have to say was that I didn't really have the motivation to write anymore. The last chapter had very few people reviewing it, and I don't know why. I'll update sooner, I PROMISE, just as long as more people review. No review replies today :( But I just want to give a special thanks to James Birdsong, for reviewing every chapter. I just skip to the last chapter until I'll review it when I'm reading multi-chapter stories. I love all the people who review! Cookies and hugs and kisses for yousss!!  


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**Fakir's POV**

"Ahiru!"

I caught her before she landed face first on the ground. Rue didn't dare say anything; she just stared with wide, shocked eyes. Mytho, quiet himself, started trembling uneasily.

The atmosphere was frantic. We didn't understand _what _exactly was happening. We couldn't call for help; Kinkan Town wasn't exactly on the advanced medical system. The only sounds that could be heard was our panicked breathing.

I caressed her cheek with the softest of touches, using only the tips of my fingers. She looked so peaceful, regardless of our anxiety. She seemed so delicate at the moment, and I was afraid to even touch her. Impulsively, I reached out to trace the contours of her lips. How I longed for them…

Considering the state of shock I was in now, I would be in hysterics a few moments later.

I didn't know how long I sat there with Ahiru in my arms, but eventually, she was removed and carried upstairs to her room. Rue sent me out, despite my sore body. For what, I don't know; I really wasn't listening to her instructions. But I found myself being towed by Mytho through Kinkan Town, clenching money in my hands.

**Ahiru's POV**

_You can see the love boring in their eyes as they stared at each other. The couple stood apart; yet, they were bound together. No distance could separate them._

"Oh!" I sat up, panting. As I glanced around, I realized that I didn't know how I got back into my room in the first place. Where was Fakir when you needed him? He was always by my side at insignificant times…

Suddenly, I saw a dark figure move in the darkness of the hour. The only form of light in here was the moonlight pouring effortlessly into the room.

"I see you're awake," A tense, feminine voice mumbled. Her voice held a tinge of relief. "Fakir has been worried sick."

She came out of the darkness, toying with something incomprehensible in her hands. She had dark hair--just like the girl in my dreams.

She stuck her arm out to shake my hand. "I don't think we had a first good impression. I'm--"

"Rue-chan. I missed you." I practically breathed out. The words were automatic, as if I knew her. Then, I pulled her into a tight hug. She wore a shocked face, but reluctantly embraced me back.

"How did you…?" She shook her head negligently. "There's no way. Fakir told me you lost your memory…"

I played with a strand of my hair idly and shrugged. "I don't get it either. It was like I knew you for most of my life. I knew you had to do something important in my life." My eyes widened eagerly at the thought. Was I already getting my memory back? I sat up on my knees. Almost immediately, I had a head rush and collapsed back down on the bad. Her warm hands instinctively flew up to check my forehead. "Rue-can. You have to tell me! I've already lost a part of my life…and I probably will never get it back. Maybe what you have to say will help. Please." I begged.

Her eyes fluttered and she looked at the ceiling. "This…may be hard to explain to you, Ahiru. I mean, I _did _know you," her hands silenced me at the response I was about to make at that, "but only a little. There was this particular person…who knew your life better than yourself, probably."

I must have looked confused because she threw back her head and laughed throatily. "He _loved _you, Ahiru. He known every last detail about you; the number of lashes you had or your favorite food. He would have done anything for you; he'd risk his life. You were the most precious and important thing in his life." She sighed inwardly, "I wished _my _love life would have been easy as yours. Everyone loved you. Me? I had to _earn _his love."

"So… Who was it?" I asked, more of demanded.

But it seemed like she didn't hear me. "I loved Mytho from the very start, but he never batted an eyelash at me or looked at me twice. I was nothing to him. I can't tell you the whole story right _now_, but someday, I'll tell you. Or maybe you'd remember it. You were a big part of him falling in love with me, Ahiru. I never got a chance to properly thank you for that. But…I'm sure you knew that, right?"

"Anou…" I trailed off. I didn't know what to say. Because I lost my memory, I didn't know what the _heck _she was babbling about. And it was usually me to do that sort of thing. She was practically telling me her life's story! Finally, I had the courage to shout, "Rue! _Please _tell me who the person is!!! I need to know these things…"

She blinked, as if waking up to the world for once. Then, she smiled. "That's easy. It's F--"

Suddenly, the door was pushed open by a tense-looking Fakir. "Ahiru." He looked as if he was finally letting out a deep breath. "You're okay."

I pursed my lips. "Hai. Why wouldn't I be?"

He rolled his eyes as if it were the most childish thing I ever said. "Baka. You're under my care, Ahiru. It is essential that I know how you're doing, whether I know you or not." He placed a tray of food in front of me. "You must be hungry. You slept for 12 hours straight."

"Twelve _hours_?!" I screeched. "I missed a whole day?! What is going on with me?"

Rue turned her head sharply at him. "I _told _you we should have woken her up. I knew for a fact that she was conscious. But what did you do? Nothing. You never listen to me, even when I'm right."

I could hear their incessant bickering even as they closed the door tightly and strolled down the stairs. I guess I had to ask another time then…

**Drosselmeyer's POV**

Well, well.

This is not good. Not good at ALL. If not, prepared to be spammed.

HIFEHIFORBUOADKOPNJIBGHJFWVEYJSDAQODLKJHGRFWAAAAAASDCFGUJIHGHGFRRFTGYUHJDUHHUJDUHEWETDEUIWSHDWGTYHRIEHGIUREHUGREAILUGFIAE

WOGFWAFWAFWPAFHKWEVHICEHRFTEWYUKASJNMVFBGRHEDJSAFBREIGBUBEGFKJHYGTFRDESWAZXCVFGBHNJMK,LOIUYHTGRFEDWSAXDCFVGHJKIUJHYGTFRDECFVGBHNJKIJUHYGTF

POIUYTREWSXDCFVGBHNJKIOLIUHYGTRFDESWQASXDCFGHJKIOLIUHYGTFRDESWXDCFVGHJUKIJUHYGTFRDEFGHJUKIJUHYGTFRVGBHJKIJUHYGTFRDCFVGBHJKIOP

Who wants an easy romance story? I think I don't. (Cue the cackling) This story isn't going to do well without some controversy, now is it…

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**anou - umm, errr, well  
hai - yes  
baka - moron, idiot**

**Please R&R, for me?  
**


	8. Gone Without A Trace

**Again, a late update. I'm so sorry, everyone, but this time I had a reason to. I had everything typed out when my laptop just CRASHED and all my data was erased when we fixed it. Besides that, I'm going to try to fix some of the chapters but the story will have the same plot. Okay? Guys... I need you all to review! There's no point in writing when nobody is going to review. Hope you like this chapter!**

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Review Replies!

iLuvMe21 - Awwh, thanks! I just noticed your avatar and it's Edward Cullen. He looks so sexy in that picture, haha.

James Birdsong - You don't know how such a review like yours can make me smile.

shortybubbles27 - Sorry for not updating sooner. My laptop got a stupid virus :P. You'll be up for quite a cliff-hanger in this chapter.

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**Ahiru's POV**

I had a smile plastered over my melancholy mood inside. I had agreed only to stay by the lake as Fakir went to do God-knows-what God-knows-where for God-knows-who. It was pretty much a bore, having to do this all the time. Already, it had been three weeks into spring; four weeks ever since I've woken up with amnesia. And Fakir had to leave _every single day_, leaving me with nothing.

After that little incident with the socks, he had forbidden me to go to his school without his permission. And with that look on his face, I was sure to comply.

But I didn't think it was right for me to stay at this boring little lake while he got to actually _do _something. I didn't care what it was; the least he could do was take me with him! Was I that much of a pain?

I sighed inwardly and twirled my hair absentmindedly. Out of habit, I started to bite at my nails: something I did when I was anxious or nervous. It wasn't very attractive.

Fakir wasn't back yet. The last time I saw him was early in the morning, with a pensive look on his face. He had barely said a word to anybody, much less me. The sun was setting quickly and I was getting worried.

I was supposed to be happy, right? I didn't have to seal with his mood swings for a _whole day_. So why was I so upset?

I felt a sunken feeling in my stomach. When I reached up to brush my bangs out of my face, I felt something wet.

_Rain…?_

I looked up to the clear sky. Not one cloud dotted it.

_Tears? Why am I crying?_

It was probably because I was getting scared. It was getting too dark quickly and Fakir was still not here.

_Maybe I can find my way back home?_

Maybe, maybe not. Considering Fakir only brought me around Kinkan Town once, I was asking for trouble. I wasn't sure whether or not I wanted to face Fakir's wrath.

But he wasn't even here yet! I was tired, hungry, and cold. It was _his _fault for leaving me out here for most part of the day.

"Stupid baka…" Determined, I stood up, hearing the crunch of my steps against the cool grass. I shivered. I walked away from the lake, just going where my legs would take me. Maybe I'd ask somebody to help me along the way! Yeah, that was it…

.

…

.

My legs were sore from walking. I was sprawled out on one of a park's benches, my eyes shut from the world appearing before me. I wanted to fall asleep, but my conscience wouldn't let me. Besides, the winds were blowing to make violent blows in my ears and I screamed inaudibly to the townsfolk's ears. A hurricane was building up and I was in it.

I found myself wishing for Fakir to be here. Not any person, but Fakir in particular. I clenched my teeth and cursed myself inwardly.

_If I hadn't been my stubborn self, I would be at home now, protected. Where are you, Fakir?_

I didn't know what this sunken feeling in my stomach was, since I had never felt like this before.

_Sadness…? Over a person I've only knew for a month or so?_

I felt a warm presence come before me and eyes penetrated through my fragile, cold body. Most people wouldn't be concerned with a stranger lying helplessly on a park bench, but he had some good in his heart to notice. Was it…?

I looked up slowly. Silver-pearl eyes stared back at me. No. It wasn't. Fakir's emerald pools were far more beautiful and hypnotizing.

"I'm here to help you." I barely heard him over the roars of the winds. He reached out and I lifted my hand deliberately to his. This man's help was the only thing I could get right now -- and I was pretty desperate.

But then --

**Fakir's POV**

As soon as I dragged myself back to the lake where I'd _hoped _Ahiru was, I knew that there was something wrong. She wasn't there. A million things came to my mind, but I had no time to answer them, such as: _Where is she? Did she try to go back home? __**Is she safe?**_

Today's suddenly rise in weather immediately told me that there was a storm coming. And when I saw those gray clouds bunch together like a potion in a cauldron, I knew that my first priority was to find Ahiru -- and fast.

Seconds turned to minutes, and minutes to hours; yet, I still couldn't find her. I needed just a bit of reassurance: a strand of her hair or a glance of her azure eyes, to grant me sanity. She didn't _know _how much this hurt to see that she was gone, no she couldn't.

I was soaking wet but I knew I wasn't going to sleep without finding her. Charon must be so frustrated and worried. But he was the least of my problems right now.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that dark, palling presence looming over by the park. Only a crazy person like me would be out here. He outstretched an arm and my legs started running to him out of instinct. And then my fist flew, hitting him straight in the face. I didn't even see him hit the floor; he just disappeared out of the air.

My attention was turned to the delicate thing on the bench and all of my worries flooded out of my conscience. Carrying her, I ran straight home. She was running a high fever.

.

…

.

I banged violently on the door and it opened quickly. Seeing the sight in my arms, Charon quickly ushered me in. I pushed all the insignificant objects off the couch and set Ahiru down. She stirred even though she wasn't sleeping. I pushed the stray hair out of her face. She was too pretty for something so trivial like hair obscure that.

"Fakir…" She moaned weakly and I immediately rushed to her side. "I'm so mad at you…"

I was still thinking when she lost consciousness and her heart rate just _stopped. _For once, I didn't know what to think.

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**Quite a cliff-hangar, am I right? Please review!**


	9. Listening to Her Heart Cry

**Ehehe, soo sorry for the late update, but I have found some time from re-writing to whip up this chapter. It's kinda angsty. Please read and review!**

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**Ahiru's POV**

I felt as if the life in me was being sucked out, as if it were the end of the world. I couldn't _breathe _at all. I struggled to get air but it was like I was in a vast world of nothingness and was reaching for something not there, wasting my life away. It hurt _that _bad.

I was immobilized in this dark, awful world and I needed to get out. I wanted to see Fakir, with his usual scowl on his face. Despite his cold-hearted attitude, I believed that he was actually a warm marshmallow inside. Hey, it was the only way I could analogized him with something. He was my protector, my shield, always being there when I needed him most. And when he wasn't, he still chased after me, vowing to keep me safe at all costs. He has given me so much when I didn't deserve it. After all, what was I to him? Nobody, that's who, a girl he felt sorry for when he found me beside the river.

Abruptly, a shaking motion cut me out of my thoughts and I struggled to pay attention to what was going on. I was still in the unpleasant area but at least I was detecting signs of consciousness.

_Ahiru… _A wistful voice said. It broke my heart to hear somebody say my voice like that, but it was full of eloquence and emotion that I _had _to keep listening to what this person said.

_Please wake up, Ahiru…_

_Ahiru, it's only me…_

_I love you, Ahiru…_ I swore I heard those words. Somebody…loved me? Me? Clumsy, ditzy Ahiru. How could anybody love me? Those words got me going and I heard voices again--more clearly.

"Her heart rate is beating now. I think she has gained awareness already." I groaned weakly and my eyes fluttered open, half-lidded.

"Ahiru? Ahiru, are you awake?" Another voice pleaded. It was a softer tone, less gruff than the previous one. I glanced up at _him_, Fakir, and averted my eyes to that oh-so-special point out the window.

"Please, just look at me." He begged. "Let me explain." Charon, horrified at the sight, scuttled quickly out of the room to avoid all the adolescent drama. "They needed me at the school. Please forgive me, Ahiru. I tried to find you and I stayed up all night trying to find you."

"Why did you leave me there in the first place? It's _so _boring over there! And because of the fact that nobody was there to come get me, it _hurt_. It hurt like crazy. I felt as if nobody cared for me. And then reality came to me. Nobodyreally _did _care for me. I was left alone at that river and only you, a stranger, came to my help." I was yelling at him now. Tears blurred my vision, but I made no effort to wipe them away. "That proved that nobody really wanted me where I first started. Why didn't you do the favor of letting me die there at the river, Fakir? _Why_?" I punched my hardest at his chest and I saw that slight wince. But he didn't say anything to stop me. So I kept at it.

"_Why?! _I'm so frustrated and upset and…and… I can't keep up with this anymore! It cuts deep not knowing why you're here, knowing that nobody cares enough to get me! I. Can't. Do. This. _Anymore_!" With each disjointed word, I smote at him, my power weakening at every pummel. To my surprise, he flung his arms over my frail body, which was in dire need of protection, of someone to hold on to. I thrashed about but he did not release me.

"Let me go, Fakir, let me go!" I sobbed. "Lemmego…"

Seeing myself in this pitiful state, I faked a laugh and focused on his eyes, which seemed like they were gleaming with sadness. "You know the funny thing is that I thank you for abandoning me in the rain. Because when I'm in the rain, no one could see me cry…"

I wailed out in distress and threw my arms around his neck. I wept into his shirt, letting all of my bottled feelings from the first time I woke up out. My lips trembled and I couldn't hold myself up anymore. I vaguely heard Fakir tell me, _It's okay to fall down once in a while._ I collapsed in his arms, tears still streaming down my face, as he carried me up to my bedroom. He set me down and my exhausted self fell asleep right beside him.

.

…

.

The next day I found an immaculate white paper propped on my face.

**Ahiru,**

**I'm sorry I couldn't be here when you woke up, even if it's a Saturday and supposed to spend time with you. As you read, I'm at the school. When you get home, I'll expect you to be happy. Being a prefect, I have saved a space for you at Kinkan Town Academy. There is an assortment of things to do there. I think you'd love Ballet, if you'd pick it. I have informed Rue and Mytho to become prefects with me, so that you'd fit right in.**

**- Fakir**

I smiled genuinely. Maybe somebody really did care, after all.


	10. Impulse

**Okay, I finally had the chance to update very soon because I had so much motivation for this, even from the lack of reviews. I guess it's because I started watching Princess Tutu again? Woot! It's soo good. I haven't watched it in a long time, it being my first anime (and glad it was). So I was very happy to watch it again ;) Please review and you will get yet another chapter early.

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**Fakir's POV**

"…OW! FakirFakirFakirFAKIR! That _huuuuuurts_!" Ahiru leaned on the _barre_, her face strained as I casually pushed her further. Our ballet teacher, Shirei-sensei, had instructed me to tutor Ahiru on the missed work for the year.

"That's mostly the point of ballet. It _hurts_." I peered at her, leaning close to her face, and added lightly, "Of course, this is just the warm-up." Her jaw dropped and her eyes glared daggers. "What? Don't look at me like that. _You _wanted this, remember?"

I sauntered across the room and directed her, "Okay, stop. Get to second position… _Revelé… _Now, _plié_… Don't stick your butt out!… Good. I want you to _pirouette _continuously for me. Let's see how many you can do. One, two, three, four—" An abrupt knock at the door startled her and she fell to the ground, brutally destroying the peace—and her butt. She got up from the ground and began to _pirouette _relentlessly. Rue and Mytho ambled in unobtrusively and beamed at Ahiru and her unyielding exertion. When she noted their presence, she grinned bashfully and hid behind me. I nudged her.

"Ahiru, I called Rue and Mytho here to perform for you." She clung to me still as they took their places on the floor.

They were dancing the _pas de deux_. Their dance proceeded at a slow, steady gait. Mytho and Rue's graceful moves caused Ahiru's eyes to widen in admiration. Their dance ended, yet Mytho and Rue took their time rise. They lingered there, Mytho holding Rue positioned in his arms as her leg never moved an inch projected in the air, looking lovingly in each other's eyes.

When they ascended, Ahiru clapped her hardest. "That was great! You were so elegant!"

Mytho clarified, "But Ahiru, the point of the dance is not to be poised. The real meaning, deep inside, is the feeling of love. If you haven't got that, the _pas de deux _becomes dull. That's why its danced by two persons: male and female."

I piped up, "Right. You should try it, Ahiru. It's exhilarating. Mytho, would you do the honors and dance with Ah—"

Rue interrupted. "Actually Fakir, you should dance with Ahiru. I think it would be a better fit since you knew Ahiru longer. Besides, we're exhausted. It really takes a lot out of you when you dance after not doing it for a time. We got things to do anyway. Right Mytho?" He nodded, his face almost blank. But if you scrutinized him closely, you'd see that he wore a mischievous glint in his eyes and a very slight smirk.

I twitched. Rue was probably doing this to piss me off or wanted Ahiru to remember her past or making her fall in love with me again… Either or, she still did it.

Ahiru shook her head rigorously and prattled on how she couldn't dance with me. I noticed she did this when she was nervous. But Mytho and Rue already were out the door.

I sighed. So it'd have to be that way… "Ahiru. Come." She gulped uneasily. As I stationed my hand on her waist and inclined closely to her face. She blushed at the intensity of our nearness but did not utter a word. My memory flashed back to Ahiru, dancing the _pas de deux _alone, implying loneliness and despair. It must have hurt seeing the one she loved love someone else.

**I think you can relate…** My inner conscience spoke after a long while. **She loved Mytho, not you. And the only reason why she still doesn't is because she lost her memory. That's all. **

I kept my head held high as we preformed the _promenade _almost perfectly, Ahiru losing balance a bit on her leg. But she continued dancing. I pulled her into a lift and she felt as light as a feather.

Feather. I remember how those ravens who were really humans trampled over Ahiru as if she were nothing. I blocked that thought out of my head and concentrated on the move Ahiru was going to perform next.

The dance was closing and Ahiru made diminutive mistakes. I thought she was done when she executed the _leap of faith_, a jump when the lady takes off and flips in the air resulting in the lady landing on her head if the male doesn't catch her. I caught her effortlessly.

I gawked into her cerulean eyes as I held her in my grasp. She didn't struggle against me or break my gaze. The soft melody ended but I didn't want to let go. My attention was focused on her lips. I leaned towards her face, the temptation consuming my control, and she closed her eyes, as if urging me to do _it_. She was enticing, and though there were so many other girls who would kill for her spot, she remained the only one. She tantalized me, knowing that I couldn't have her—at least, not _yet_. Still, I leaned forward, her lips just waiting for me to capture it, only millimeters away—

"Bravo! That was great!"

Damn it!

She stiffened up, smiling genuinely at Rue, who had came in.

"I thought you had 'things to do.'" I scowled at the raven-haired girl and her companion.

She grinned, but beneath that grin was evil. "I left my sweater here and came back to fetch it." She spoke lightly. I gritted my teeth. She _knew _this was going to piss my off. She just _knew _it. I _had _to invite her back to Kinkan Town, did I? I mentally kicked myself in the balls.

"So Ahiru, how did you do it? To accomplish the _pas de deux _takes practically months!" Rue gleamed at her, making Ahiru very self-conscious.

I coughed. "Beginner's luck."

Her eyes widened and she still refrained from stealing even a glance at me. "E-Eh? I really don't know how I did it, actually. I danced from the heart, as you told me to…and… I don't know. It was like it happened before." She started excitedly jumping up and down and tug at my sleeve, momentarily forgetting what happened just before. "Could this be telling me something?" Before I could respond, the bell rung.

Rue intervened. "Well, looks like we have to go. People get congested trying to get to their next class. See you later, Ahiru!" She grabbed me forcefully by my arm, Mytho gently with his, and dragged both of us out of the studio.

I looked back at her, silently apologizing, but her mind seemed to be on other things. Our eyes connected for a second before she turned away. I really wished I hadn't done that…

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**Ok, Shirei-sensei is their new teacher, now that Neko-sensei has been turned into a REAL cat. Shirei means commander, instrucations, directive. Please review!**


	11. True Feelings

**Haiiii, you guys. I'm so sorry that I didn't update in such the longest time. I would've updated faster, if it hasn't been for my summer scholarship program. I've been loaded with work and I usually went to sleep at like eleven. Then I went to boarding school for a week. It was fun, but the teachers expected more from us since we were in a different environment. So just bear with me, guys. I'm so glad that you've stuck with me after all this time. I really love all of you. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Princess Tutu.

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**Fakir's POV**

"What _in the world _was that?!" Rue shrieked, resulting into students curiously directing their attention to the raven-haired beauty.

"Hush, will you? I was dancing with Ahiru as you said." I rolled my eyes. It was something more than that, I know, but I was too in denial to admit it.

Mytho coaxed, "No need to make a scene, Rue." To Mytho's touch, Rue tensed shoulders relaxed.

She spoke slowly, easing herself to tranquility. "Alright…but seriously, Fakir, why were you going to kiss her?"

I pursed my lips and diverted my eyes to Freya's prolific garden, as if it were to distract me. My mind was drawing a blank right now. Why, exactly, did I want to do it? And if I did it, what were the consequences to it?

"I…don't know why, exactly." I stared at the ground. I didn't want to look them in the eyes, because they knew full well that I actually did know.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw that Rue opened her mouth to speak once more, but Mytho's soft albeit prevailing voice piped up first. "You do know." I looked up but he didn't look me in the eyes. He unconsciously stroked Rue's lithe arm. "You know full well. You know that you love Ahiru, Fakir. Why can't you admit it? Is it to hard to acknowledge that you actually love her? I once loved her, Fakir, and it isn't that hard to fall for her. I _understand_."

My eyes were hidden from my dark hair. "No, you don't. You don't sympathize. You don't apprehend how I _yearn _for her. You already possessed her love. The only thing missing was your fate. It wasn't connected. And the notion of her diminished memory all but makes it harder. She doesn't remember me, much less _loves _me. You can say that I have to start from scratch. "

Rue touched my arm soothingly. It was the first time I've ever seen her come close to being nice to me. "Fakir. Listen to me. Somewhere underneath it all, Ahiru still cares for you. She still remembers it. It's your job to dig it back up. Somewhere, this is all Drosselmeyer's sick joke. He'll eventually get tired of it. And after all this time Ahiru's been with you, I think that she's falling for you again in the process. This is not like you to just give up."

A student of about ten or eleven raced up to us. He rested on the heels of his feet and breathed in deeply. "Fakir-sempai…Rue-sempai…Mytho-sempai… Ahiru-sempai has been rushed to the infirmary!"

"_What?!_"

.

…

.

I fumbled with my hands as the nurse checked her temperature.

"Nothing," she clarified, and the three of us exhaled a breath that we've been holding for so long, "Ahiru-kun probably just fainted from exhaustion. After all, it's only her first day, right? And I think Shirei-sensei has appointed Fakir-kun to teach her? It's a lot of work, ballet. But don't fret; numerous students have come to the infirmary at their first day."

She scurried away, muttering to herself, while I took Ahiru's petite hand. "Ahiru…" I trailed off wistfully.

**Ahiru's POV**

"_The real me has actually been protected by others since I was a kid. I can't protect anyone." The young adult said reflectively. He sounded familiar but I couldn't make out the contours of his face. _

"_But even if that is my true form…" He said confidently, holding me firmly by the stomach and twirling me in the air, "I want to make the story end! Not in a role that has been imposed on me… I want to protect you and Mytho with my own power! Even if I use up all my power!"_

_My breath hitched in my throat. "I'll just turn back into a regular old duck then, won't I? I won't be able to study ballet with everyone…"_

"_Isn't that alright? That's the real you. Even if that happens, I'll always stay by your side." He promised solemnly._

"_F…r," My voice sounded garbled; I couldn't make it out._

_The tall adolescent clasped my hand securely. I thought, __**How strange. Even though I was thinking that it wouldn't matter if I disappeared… I wonder why… F…r makes the weak me stronger. **__I lay my head on his chest, suspending my lithe leg into the air, as he pulled me safely in his arms. I gazed into his eyes; they were green, piercing into my heart, and soft._

I shot up, but this time, my forehead wasn't soaked with sweat. It wasn't a nightmare, I was sure of that but it was a painful experience to go through. Maybe it was a memory buried deep in my conscience. I pored around and decided that I was in the infirmary, considering the tools and medicines placed around the room. I heard soft snores coming from beside me. Fakir slept beside me and I concluded that his adamant self refused to leave me alone here. I rolled my eyes.

I swept his stray hair out of his face. He looked like a child when he was sleeping. Fakir always exhibited a stressed look during most days.

My mind converted back to me dream. Who was that mysterious person? I could tell he played a big role life. Oh well. Only time would tell…

I feel into deep slumber, unconsciously holding Fakir's hand.

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**Yess...I made a referal to episode 25. I do not own ANY of it. Please review! I love you all!**


	12. All Over Again

**Okay, I've got a lot of IMPORTANT things to state in this Author's Note. First off, I've updated Chapter three, which was erased unsuspectingly. If you haven't read it yet, GO because this chapter makes a bit of a reference to that chapter. It was a bit hard though, because I've wrote it from scratch again, so just bear with me okay? Secondly, I would like to thank all of you reviewers for this story. It really means a lot to me. One of my reviewers, _Zurii-Zurii _has pointed out something important so I THANK YOU for that. **

**So I guess I'll end here and let you read. :D

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It was Tuesday—a very _arid _Tuesday, to be exact. And Fakir was pissed.

No, it wasn't that full-on scowl he wore each day, he was pissed. Fakir just didn't enjoy hot weather. It got to his senses and twisted up his mind in ever way possible. Considering the earlier day's events, he was bound to be _extremely _pissed.

Autor walked defiantly up to Fakir that day during Study Hall. He knew that a particular question forming just on Autor's pursed lips was inevitable: "Why?"

Fakir sighed, tiredly positioning his books in front of him. "It just…I don't know, happened. Drosselmeyer—" and at this, Autor gasped "—Well, who else did you expect?" Fakir glowered darkly. "He made Ahiru human again. It was to, I don't know, 'make her fall in love with me the proper way.'"

Autor wasn't surprised. Only Drosselmeyer would want to make them "fall in love" in a sick, twisted way like this.

Fakir sighed once more. "I guess the whole school remembers?" It was more of a question than a statement.

"I'm not exactly sure, but my guess is that they do. I infer that they remember Ahiru, but not the influence she had—still has—on Kinkan Town. Likewise to me, they probably remembered everything about her once they inspected her cerulean eyes. They're very…probing." He pushed up his wiry glasses farther up the bridge of his nose. "But I suspect that we, meaning you and me, remember her because we were some of the important characters in her life."

"I don't know. What about her friends; Pike and Lilie? Didn't they play important parts in her life?" Fakir demanded.

Autor contemplated for a moment. "Maybe that's true. But they never dug deeper into Drosselmeyer, whom we only knew about. _I_ was smart enough to find out the mystery." He sniffled and stuck his nose in the air haughtily.

"Don't inflate your ego." Fakir scolded monotonously.

Autor shook his head and continued as if he hadn't heard Fakir. "Well, I guess we have to wait and see."

"One more thing; we have to tell people about Ahiru's…condition…and what they have to do." I stated hesitantly.

The light reflected into Autor's glasses, obscuring his eyes. He asked darkly, "What do you mean 'condition'?"

Fakir gulped, not wanting to recount what had happened. "She has lost her memory."

Autor's eyes popped out of its sockets. "Amazing. Once people start summoning up the past, she loses it."

"_No_. It is not amazing. First off, losing her memory is bad. Secondly, it was done on purpose." I clarified, rolling my eyes.

Their conversation went from there, one-sided small talk about how Ahiru came to standing where she is right now. Soon after, Fakir went to their old rendezvous, the water fountain.

Meanwhile, Ahiru ambled across the grassy field, listlessly paying attention to where she was going. It was Study hall period but that didn't necessarily mean that she was to actually _study_. After all, she was from the ballet section and didn't take any other classes. How was she to study ballet?

Well, Ahiru contemplated on yesterday's events, or one particular event: the almost-kiss. It seemed like something powerful, something drastic. Fakir never displayed those kind of eyes to _anyone. _And now, it seemed liked he was avoiding her. She walked to the water fountain, an indescribable force just pulling her there, and plopped down tiredly, not knowing that Fakir was just on the opposite side, watching her.

**Fakir's POV**

Her way-too-short uniform couldn't go higher on this blasted day, right? It made me want to lure her to the back of one of these buildings, press her petite body against the wall while she'd ask, very cutely, "Fakir, what's wrong?" and I'd kiss her silly as my hand just inches its way up her—_Whoa. _

I pinched the bridge of my of my nose—hard—as if inflicting pain on myself would assuage these negative thoughts. Maybe the heat was just messing with my head.

Two girls approached Ahiru hesitantly and I recognized them to be Ahiru's old friends, Pike and Lilie. Lilie, the blond, discarded the pigtails from her hair and advanced to a side ponytail, which made her look more mature. Pike tolerated her messy pink hair, which grew longer by the years, and clipped in in her trademark yellow clips, in an attempt to keep her hair out of her face. The two girls grew taller, more slimmer, as Ahiru did.

"Ahiru! Hiya!" Lilie exclaimed happily. From her spot, Ahiru looked up and smiled politely, not really sure what to do.

The girls smiled, waiting for her to respond. "Don't you remem—"

"Ahiru." My face held brimming anger/nervousness. "Will you please—" Wince. "—let me talk to Lilie and Pike?" She waved her hand dismissively and smiled, peering closely at me. Seriously, I couldn't comprehend the mirth Ahiru was filled with on a day like this. I glanced back at her. Sweat trailed down her face, to her neck, and down her school uniform, which had her top button open -- I looked away guiltily and mentally slapped myself. What was up with all these dirty thoughts?!

Lilie and Pike were tapping their feet [im]patiently as they waited for an explanation. When none came, Pike spoke up, "Why's Ahiru spending so much time with you, Fakir-sempai?" They eyed me and I blanched. "Maybe you guys are together?"

"No!" I protested. Pike raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "I-I mean, I don't like her."

They laughed. "Relax," Pike said, "we were just being flippant."

I pursed my lips as I eased my face into looking slightly nonchalant. "Well, Ahiru has lost her memory. She's been staying with me for a while. But the thing is, she doesn't know that we took part in her past. I…haven't told her about Kinkan Town." I gulped. "But…I think the best way to revive those lost memories is to let her spend time with her friends. Ask her over for a sleep-over at your dorm. Say that I approve."

I walked away, not wanting to hear their remonstrance. I _needed _to get away from Ahiru. She looked to tempting today. So I ambled home.

Once there, I set my books on the table and collapsed on the couch. I heard a gruff voice float down from the hallway, "Fakir? Are you here already?"

"Yes," I replied as he walked in. I placed my hand over my eyes and closed them.

Charon could see right through me. "Fakir, what's wrong? Girlfriend troubles? I see that Ahiru isn't by your side."

I sat upright quickly. "G-Girlfriend troubles? What are you talking about?"

"Oh! I thought that you guys were together already, considering how much time you devote to her." Charon explained.

I mumbled, "No, she's not my girlfriend."

"And?"

"And what?" I demanded.

He elaborated, "And you want her to be yours?"

I sighed. "Why does everyone assume that?"

"Because it's true, Fakir. I don't know how long you are going to stay in denial, but…the feelings there. You like her. And admit it, how long have you guys been inseparable? Two, three years? I'd bet that you're feelings have been upgraded, if you know what I mean."

I gawked at him. "But, regardless, she doesn't remember me. I just…don't…"

"Then would you like to live the rest of your life with the fact that you could have taken the chance when it came? I don't think so." He stood up from his place. "Well, I'll get back to work now."

He left me on that note. Maybe, just maybe, he was right.

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**Okayy...Charon is acting a bit more paternal... And in case you still haven't read Chapter 3 yet, it states that Charon remembered everything. Please review!**


	13. Romeo and Juliet

**DRAMAAA! Guyss, all I have to say is, thanks for staying with me. You will die during this chapter. Just die. Please R&R!**

**Disclaimer: I have once again proclaimed that I am not the owner of Princess Tutu. Neither Romeo and Juliet.**

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**Ahiru's POV**

"… Fakir? Do you like me?" I asked, from my spot perched on a tree branch.

He seemed flustered and blushed immediately, which triggered a giddy laugh from the spontaneous me. Fakir blushing was something I've only _dreamed_—Aah, not like I dreamed of him or anything like that. Psh.

He recollected himself and noted, "Careful. You'll fall, baka." _Conveniently avoiding the question, I see_, I thought caustically.

"You know," I lectured, "when you very fittingly left me with Pike and Lilie, I've actually learned some potential things from them."

Jutting my lips out in a pout (one of the things that I learned that boys found endearing), I gave a lingering silence to prolong his curiosity. Or in Pike's and Lilie's words, "playing hard-to-get." I smiled as I watched his ears perk up but his obstinate gaze remaining on his sheaf of papers.

Then I realized what I was doing. I wasn't acting myself. I sighed inwardly. Pike and Lilie has orated my ears with spoiling words, causing me to act that way.

Which is not what I wanted.

But my inquisitiveness got the best of me. And they were _sure _he had feelings for me. "Just try it out!" they commanded.

"Like, crushes and things like that," I waved my hand off dismissively, "but rather, do you want me to _show _you what I learned?"

"No." He replied monotonously. He dusted off the covers from a large book placed beside me and started reading to himself.

"What are you reading?" I asked hesitantly. I peered over his shoulder to see the the words but alas, I was too far up, concluding in me not being able to see the words, regardless if I could see over his shoulder or not. Which I couldn't.

It deduced me into falling off the branch and into Fakir causing an "Oof!" from the raven-haired boy. I smiled sheepishly at him. He, of course, glared. But I held my place.

"Aren't you going to read that book to me?" I asked, all innocent.

He sighed, very loudly. "Fine." He paused. "But only to get you _off of _me."

He coughed and took a while to start. "I have to read it as a script, though."

I nodded, prodding him on.

"_Two households, both alike in dignity,  
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,  
From the ancient grudge break to our mutiny,  
Where civil blood makes civil hands.  
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes,  
__A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;  
Whole misadventured piteous overthrows  
Do with their death bury their parent's strife.  
The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love,  
And the continuance of their parents' rage,  
Which, but their children's end, nought be removed,  
Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage;  
The which if you with patient ears attend,  
What here shall miss, out toil shall strive to mend…_"

I listened to the eloquence of his voice, which kept me up until the sun set. I think we sat there for two hours…and it was only the first act!

At the end, Fakir broke off and placed the book down shakily by his side.

"Fakir, what's wrong? Continue on; you're were good!"

His bangs obscured his face. He whispered, "You're more interesting than that book, Ahiru." He spoke my name with so much care that my heart constricted and I felt asphyxiated just to be near him.

So I pulled his neck towards my face and murmured, "It's a relief for you to say that."

And we kissed.

His lips felt so soft for someone so harsh. Through the kiss, Fakir transfixed me with overwhelming affection. I was immobile in his arms and my arms, which was laced through his velvet hair, felt like it was giving out. Fakir kept me steady in his arms.

He pulled away for air as our foreheads touched. I was barely breathing. "You have _no idea _how long I wanted to do that." He said, breaking the silence.

I laughed.

.

…

.

**Fakir's POV**

As I brought sleeping Ahiru home in my arms, I was smiling like an idiot. Charon let me in and, seeing the love-struck look on my face, patted my back and said, "Good work, son" and left me to bask in my mirth.

I placed her on her bed and kissed her forehead softly. "Goodnight, Ahiru."

I was about to leave when she called, "Wait." And I came back, grinning, as I slept beside her, this time willingly.

.

…

.

**Autor's POV**

As soon as I saw Fakir and Ahiru walk into Kinkan Academy hand-in-hand, I was struck with horror. But I saw the indifferent look on Fakir's face and Ahiru's sheepish and immediately recollected myself.

Fakir and Ahiru were being watched by everyone in Kinkan Academy—well, Ahiru was receiving death glares from the crazed fan girls. Fakir said something inaudible to the fan girls and their eyes were stricken with grief yet they instantaneously cheered up.

Then Fakir kissed her, holding her back for support as he tipped Ahiru. Kissed her. In front of the teachers. In front of the students. In front of _whole Kinkan Academy._ As Fakir pulled away, Ahiru hid her tomato-red face in Fakir's chest whilst Fakir smiled. After a moment of silence, everyone cheered.

"We're so happy for you, Ahiru!"

"I never knew Fakir had it in him!"

"Young love…so adorable."

They then parted ways, for their morning classes. I stood up, then strode over to Fakir.

"What are you doing?" I seethed.

He glanced at me. "I think that gesture was very blunt."

I groaned. "What if she remembers?"

He didn't look at me but said grimly, "I'll make sure that never happens."

"Fakir! Are you just giving up because she now recognizes her feelings for you?" I demanded.

He muttered, "I don't want her to recount those days with Drosselmeyer."

Still holding my gaze, I said gruffly, "Is that what she wants? Or is that what you want?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Sure as hell I understand." I hesitated as he glowered at me but continued in a more lighter tone, "Fakir. You're depriving her of something she wants back because she lost it. Even with you, I'm sure she's not happy not knowing who she is!"

"How are _you_, of all people, supposed to know what goes through her head?"

_Because it's obvious!_, I screamed inwardly, but I kept that reverie to myself, knowing that it would just create more arguing.

"Well, besides that, I'm glad to see that you two are together." I lied as I rambled off slowly.

Before I was out of earshot, he mumbled to himself, "I'll make sure she won't remember. She'll be safe with me…"

_Oh, Fakir. _I thought wistfully. _You were most of her life! Don't you know that loving her will just drive her to summon up those lost memories?

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_**Please review! That's all I ask(:  
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	14. Never Refusing

**I'M SO SORRY. I've been busy. Life's been hard. I thought that I would have time during the summer to update frequently, but it turned out that I had less. I went to Summer School of a sort, for smart people. I've recently been accepted to go to Boarding School. The work was hard, and it turned out that I was staying up late doing my Summer and Fall homework from English... Oh, how I hate English... Anyways, I've conjured up something for you guys to read, even though I know it's horribly short. I'm tryingtryingTRYING to update as soon as I can. But no promises. Thank you for the guys who have stayed with me all throughout!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

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**Autor's POV**

_They're so much in love…_ I contemplated as I observed Ahiru throw back her head, laughing gaily, while Fakir allowed a small smirk to grace his lips. They sat underneath one of Freya's apple trees, basking in their mirth.

I gulped. _They're happiness is to be short-lived, however… _All over again, the same mistake Fakir is making, he still doesn't understand what he's going to put Ahiru through. It's the Mytho situation all over again…

I shrugged. If Fakir wanted to have it this way, then let him be. I couldn't interfere with his decisions. I picked at my apple, which sat across me on the wooden picnic table I was sitting on.

Lunch time is always so lonely when you have no one to sit by.

I remembered the time when Rue seduced me, and I fell for her. Oh, my stupid, stupid, young self…

I grunted and looked up, seeing a disappearing act from Ahiru and Fakir. I checked the clock and it was 12:25 PM, five minutes until class.

My apple was almost fully oxidized. I picked at it once more, not wanting to get out of class. Why was I so obsessed with proving Fakir wrong? I sighed heavily, knowing full well the answer.

I was jealous, and that was that. I knew that I would never be in his place, having a girl lying on my shoulder, coming to me when sad, teasing me, and whatever…

I felt a slight tap to my shoulder and I leisurely brought my head up. A girl with eccentric pink hair glanced down at me with a stoic face. Even though she took Ballet as her prime class, she joined Literature as a sub-class, to which I was in also. Her name was Pique.

"You're letting your apple decompose." That brought a smile to my face, and she grinned back, dimple-faced. "Come, let's go to class." She stood with one arm akimbo, and I slipped mine through hers. She smiled, as we walked off to class, while I was grinning nonstop.

_Maybe there is still hope for me_, I thought wistfully.

**.**

…

**.**

**Rue's POV (The morning before)**

"What do you want, you old man?" I demanded with slicing words at the pauper-like person grinned at me.

"Nothing really," Drosselmeyer said lightly, "just wanted to check how my characters are doing."

"_Your_ characters? I don't think you own this story anymore." Mytho's soft, agile hands comforted me quickly, softening my tense back. "Fakir and Ahiru already had enough of you. Why are you still here?"

His eyes widened, as if he were insulted. "Ohoho, that is where you are wrong, Rue, my dearest. _I _created _you_, _Ahiru_, _Fakir_, _Mytho_, and all the other people in this story. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't be alive right now. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't fall in love with your precious Mytho—" I clenched Mytho's hand as he spoke this, "—and if it weren't for me, you wouldn't have those unbelievable powers you have now." He smiled arrogantly and triumphantly.

My eyes were small as slits. "If it weren't for _you_, I wouldn't be alive to live through this kind of Hell. If it weren't for _you_, Mytho wouldn't have to love someone as horrible as me, the Raven's daughter. If it weren't for _you_, you're right, I wouldn't have these powers, which have screwed up my life in the most unimaginable ways. And you still dare say something?!"

He still had the nerve to smirk at me. Mytho held me back easily.

"Oh, my dearest Rue, and I thought I would just drop by to give you a piece of advice. Something about Fakir and Ahiru. But I just guess you aren't grateful enough."

I licked my lips. "I don't need any of your advice. Nor does Ahiru and Fakir. What they do is their business. You have no right to meddle in it now, especially after what you've risked."

For the first time, Mytho piped up. "Drosselmeyer. What is it that you're saying?" I glared at him, for giving in so quickly, but he refused to meet my gaze. He nodded to Drosselmeyer solemnly.

"Well. If you _must _know, Ahiru's had many fainting spells, am I right?" Mytho acknowledged that piece of information. "She's been having those for a reason. I'm sure Fakir has told you that Ahiru needs to stumble across five things that meant a lot in her past life. She's already stumbled on two: Rue's visiting and ballet."

My face contorted into confusion. "But how can that be? She's had many other fainting spells."

He stroked his chin, his face stoic. "Some others are simply by chance. There was one instance when she fainted because she was left out too late in the rain, am I right? Some spells are because she's getting close to one of the five important things."

I closed my eyes. "This makes no sense whatsoever…"

He sighed impatiently. "Alright. Do you admit that Ahiru has fainted on a number of occasions?" We both nodded. "Sure. Do you admit that Ahiru remembered a vital piece of her past when she woke up?"

My eyebrows rose. "I recall that Ahiru remembered who I was when she roused, even though I didn't mention that…"

"There. I presume you haven't seen her after she woke up in the school infirmary?" We shook our heads.

He provided, "Ahiru woke up in the middle of the night. She remembered what happened when she was in Lake Despair with Fakir dancing the pas de deux."

Mytho's eyes bugged out. "So she needs three more objects for her to get her memory back? And she faints after she discovers them?"

"Yes. But I believe that it doesn't have to only be objects. Ahiru summoned up memories after she saw Rue, a person, and when she danced ballet, a dance." He contemplated thoughtfully. "Let's call them, _The Five Recollections_."

"Very creative." I spoke sarcastically. "Especially for a writer."

He scowled. He bowed slightly to Mytho and said, "Good luck with Rue, here. She's a feisty one."

I stomped angrily as he disappeared completely from sight.

"Don't worry about him, Rue." Mytho whispered, kissing my earlobe, tickling it. I smiled unconsciously. "I don't regret falling in love with you."

I squeezed his hand. "I love you, too, Mytho."

.

…

.

"_The Five Recollections_?! What kind of bullshit is that?" Fakir sneered.

I tipped my pointer finger back as I leaned on my hand. "Exactly what I said. You do not know how mad I was when he emerged. Just looking at his wizened face angers me." My nostrils flared.

Mytho, Fakir, and I stood in the Infirmary. Ahiru had been sleeping 13 hours and counting, longer than the last time she collapsed. Fakir didn't look very happy.

"So you're telling me that whenever she faints, she evokes memories?" We didn't even bother trying to reply. Fakir had been asking that question since we arrived. Fakir plopped down in a chair, massaging his temples.

"Drosselmeyer said that Ahiru recalled when you and her danced in Lake Despair." Mytho supplied, to calm him, but that only stimulated his anger.

"So does that mean that she remembers me?!" His face seemed upset, almost scared.

I uttered slowly, "I don't think so. Chances are that she didn't. When she woke up last time, with me in her room, she only remembered me, solely me. She didn't remember any of the parts I played in her life; just that I was important. I believe that she only reminisced that moment, seeing another body with no face. You make it seem as if you don't want her to remember."

He slumped further in his chair, sighing, "I don't. I don't want her to relive that horrendous…_thing_ she called life. Besides, I can tell she's already happy. She has feelings for me, and I think that's enough."

I glanced at Mytho unsurely. He reiterated that same look. I opened my mouth to speak, but just then, Ahiru stirred and roused. Her blue eyes gazed deeply at Fakir and her mouth pulled into a smile. Without words, she stood and hugged him tightly. A ghost of a smile appeared on his face.

_Oh, Fakir. You're making a mistake. You're still the same person you were before on Mytho. You allegedly protected him, keeping him from his past. Loving her will only dredge up those lost nostalgia!

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_**Please review!(:  
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	15. Eyes Wide Shut

**Here I am! -waves shyly- I'm so tired, where I am it's 1 in the morning, and I have to go back to boarding school tomorrow. D; I just wanted to make an update... I had a strange feeling that I needed to update this story for some reason... Anyways, hope you guys don't get confused after having not updated in such a long time... I promise to update again before Christmas(: So please review~ Thanks for everything; I love you guys who has stayed with me.  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

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**Fakir's POV**

"Come now, Fakir, and hurry up! Don't you wanna know where Autor is heading…?" yelled the shrill Ahiru, who was donned in the most conspicuous of black clothing. I shook my head. We stood in front of the gates of the Academy; I had only left my last period class, which had obviously been writing, considering my bad temper at the moment.

"Why is it so important that you need to stalk him, Ahiru? Let's go home; I'm tired and I don't want to deal with your antics today." But her big eyes pleaded out to me and I retired my convincing her to go back home and shook my head in defeat. She smiled, and I dizzily blinked; her grin was more blinding than the sun. I wondered how easily this girl could affect me.

She skipped ahead, humming to herself, and I scowled. "Don't you think you're making yourself more obvious by doing that?" Her face twitched, but she didn't say anything and stopped humming and skipping. She looked up at me for approval.

I smiled.

.

…

.

Autor entered a small coffee-shop in the midst of up-and-coming stores, so it was really rather out of sight and something to pass over. Ahiru's eyes widened and said excitedly, "Look! We should go in," and grabbed the hem of my shirt and tugged me toward the shop.

"I really doubt that we should meddle in Autor's business. After all, he's not an enemy as we considered before-" I broke off abruptly and Ahiru's thrilled eyes turned suddenly suspicious.

"Autor? An enemy? What are you talking about?"

Coughing, I took hold of her and pointed out, "Isn't that the little pink-haired girl?"

As suspected, her attention immediately went to the coffee-shop and the two schoolmates. "Hm? Are you talking about me?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, you idiot, I wouldn't be pointing out a pink-haired girl out if it were you." Shaking my head, I grabbed her chin and pointed it in the direction of the clear glass window through which you can see Pike and Autor guffawing. Seeing this for myself, I smiled, knowing that Autor truly wanted someone to love. Maybe this was the start of it.

Meanwhile, Ahiru was struggling under my hold. "Hey! Get off of me!" She conveniently landed in a puddle of mud left from previous night and she wailed. "These are my favorite pair of pants."

Monotonously, I reproached, "Stop whining. You're wearing all black. It won't stain, dummy."

She pursed her lips and said, "Oh right." After some time of watching some harmless flirting of Autor and Pike, Ahiru grumbled, "And I thought something was brewing. I just don't trust that Autor… I feel as if he's hiding something from me."

My eyes widened in shock. I grabbed hold of her shoulders and exclaimed, "What are you talking about? Autor has never spoken so much a word to you and if he has, he's always been kind to you. Is that why you dragged me all the way here when I clearly could have been sleeping? Don't _ever_ speak of Autor like that again, and don't you ever think about meddling in his business again. Do you hear me?"

For quite some time, Ahiru stood in embarrassment, her face red, then purpling in anger. "Who are you to tell me what to do? I did not insult him nor threaten to hurt your friend. That statement was not even directed toward _you_! I was just voicing some of my passing thoughts, like I always do and you know, and knew for quite some time, that my thoughts are harmless. I just can't believe that-"

"What's going on here?" Autor and Pike stood, arm-in-arm, licking their ice cream cones. Autor inspected Ahiru's demeanor and garments and condescend stuck his nose in the air before turning his head away. I guess he was still angered with me for not revealing the truth of Ahiru's life before. Without word, Ahiru stood and walked away into the obscurity of the forest, leaving me with the upset Autor and flustered Pike.

I didn't even think of where Ahiru would head off to as I wearily trudged back home.

.

…

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**Ahiru's POV**

"He's so bipolar… I don't understand why I pine for that idiot who is constantly angry or irritated with something… I _do _deserve someone who would treat me right and would accept me…someone like Mytho," I giggled, concealing my thoughts only to myself and the life of the forest, knowing it would not deceive me nor reveal my secrets to another. I sobered and thought, "So saddening… he already has Rue; she's so lucky."

Noting some rustling about me, I became wary. I called out suspiciously, "Fakir? Is that you? Well, I don't care for your face or your pride, so if I hurt either, it's not my problem anymore. I refuse to go back with you." However, no one responded but the rustling continued. "Fakir?" I called, now scared. The light from the sun was dimming and I knew that the day was ending soon. "Are you there? Come out, you dummy!"

The face and lanky body I saw was not Fakir's, however, but Autor's. I stared, confused. "What are you doing here, Autor? Did Fakir send you? I can't believe that dummy; he's so stupid and confuses the-"

"Shush, Ahiru, I'm pretty sure no one appreciates your voice right now. I'm tired, you're tired. Fakir is in his own world right now; he has enough to worry about." With that he looked straight into my eyes. "Do you want to spend the night at my home?"

She scrunched up her nose in distaste. "I don't want to spend a night at _your_ house."

He offered no argument. "Fine. But if you're looking for someone to talk you back home, then you're not looking at the right person." He walked before me, leaving me in the semi-darkness of the now deceiving-looking woods.

"Wait, hold on!"

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…

.

We entered into the comfort of Autor's house, leaving the coldness and scrutiny of the forest that seemed to close in on us. Author's house was huge, which probably explained why it was located in the middle of the forest and not in the midst of the bubbling society we called the town. I was amazed that a home fit for merely three existed.

"Don't you ever get lost in here?" I mused, but he just gave me a disdainful look.

"I'm going to prepare some food for us," he said, "you could stay in the common room."

My mouth widened. "There's such a thing as a common room?"

He gave me a look nostalgic to Fakir's. "Just…don't break anything, okay?" I nodded and he shooed me away.

In the room, it looked ancient and unused; perhaps none were really invited into the abode of Autor's. A fireplace was constructed in the far wall of the room and when I spoke, it seemed like my voice was echoing. Just how big was Autor's house? Some leaflets and magazines were left on the glass table which was erected in the middle of the room, complemented by a similar patterned loveseat and automan and a couch. I sat, twiddling my thumb since Autor told me not to touch anything and my hands couldn't help but to move. But my attention turned to the small nutcracker or doll staring at me and my hands automatically reached out to it. The nutcracker was slightly bigger than my hand but what was different about it, I couldn't tell. The nutcracker had light green hair and peculiar white clothing. I felt as if I saw this before, long before, but I couldn't place a finger on it. I found that the nutcracker could be opened and saw an even smaller version of the nutcracker inside. It was a more childish version, with the same soft green hair and weird white clothing, but this nutcracker held a drum…

Looking at the two nutcrackers was the only thing I could remember before I fainted for another time and hearing the shout of Autor and clang of the dishes on the floor, but for some reason it reminded me of the clang of a certain clock tower…

.

…

.

'_This lady isn't real… She's not even human! But for some reason, I'm calm and I don't fear her…' I thought as the woman faced me. She moved her mouth and didn't talk, but for some reason, I could hear her. She offered me advice on various occasions and helped me. She had no emotion; I guess that was something I helped her attain in the end._

_Suddenly, I saw fire, consuming her wooden body as a young man's wounded body lay before her, warming him and giving him life again. I also saw the path out, to freedom, to safeness, because of the light she provided. But all I could think of was the humanity of the puppet that was being destroyed in the fire and would never be seen again._

_I called out her name, but it could not come out. 'Edel! Edel!' I silently screamed as she turned into ashes._

_The next thing I saw was a younger version of the woman who died; this child was the reincarnation of Edel. She was constantly in my own and another boy's business, creating awkward moments for the both of us. I guess she, like Edel, was searching for the meaning of human feelings, especially love. She was being taken away, by an old man, and I found myself in yet again the same situation from before. 'Uzura-chan! Uzura!' Defeated, I crumpled to the ground, accepting my fate…_

.

…

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**Autor's POV **

I cursed at myself silently as I tucked Ahiru in, pushing one of the near the a-glowing fireplace. She was freezing, much different from the previous bouts of fevers she's broken out into before.

'_Goodness, Fakir's going to kill me…'_ I thought, slapping myself on the head. '_Why did I let this to happen? Once Ahiru's fainted like this, it's always worse than the last. Hopefully I give her the right treatment.' _However, it was quite the opposite. Once I had pushed her to the slightest bit of warmth, she has started thrashing and wailing incoherent words in her sleep.

As if on cue, Fakir had entered, out of breath and obviously angry. "This damn girl; I can't believe that she wouldn't come home. The _last _place I would ever think her to be at is here, and there she goes, coming here!" Seeing my sweating face and Ahiru's frustrated and pale one, he slowly fell to his knees. "How could you let this happen again, Autor… it hasn't even been a day yet and she already gained another Recollection?" His glassy eyes gave it away: he was vulnerable and desperate.

Standing up, I placed my hand on his shoulder, "Fakir, don't stand by and think that her fate isn't going to come and she isn't going to remember."

"I knew she was going to remember… I just didn't think it would come to happen so fast," he looked up at me with such raw emotion that I almost turned away, "Tell me, Autor, do you think what I'm doing is selfish? I keep telling myself that I just want to protect Ahiru…but that's the limitations of my protecting her. I can't do anything else _but _that." Suddenly, he stood, his gaze hard on her sleeping figure. "No. This is for her own good. Definitely." He said, almost like convincing himself.

I licked my lips and opened my mouth to speak, but I could find no words to provide him comfort. Fakir took the two wooden puppets of Edel and Uzura and clenched them in his hands. His dark, emerald eyes glaring red from the fire, he threw the two puppets into the blazing inferno. I opened my mouth in protest, but seeing his current demeanor, I quickly closed it.

Now both puppets of Edel and Uzura burned in the fire once again…


	16. Thinking Out Loud

**Has it really been two years? Good news, guys. I am planning to finish this story (for some reason, I got back into Princess Tutu when I started pointe a few months ago) and I have _great _plans for this. Sorry for not updating, I feel horrible for neglecting you guys and this story. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Princess Tutu, at all.**

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Ahiru had been asleep for a day and a half when she was roused by the ominous _clang_ of the clock tower. Her vision blurred, she could see Fakir beside her stir and awaken. He blinked and facing her, he gave a small smile and asked, "Are you okay?"

Ahiru was beginning to remember some things before she fainted for the last time, and she smiled amiably and reassured, scratching the back of her head, "No worries, Fakir! Although I don't appreciate you leaving me the other day, I'm fine. You look tired though." Truly, Fakir's face had gained dark circles under his eyes, and he nodded in slight agreement. "You just go back to sleep, and I'll just get ready to go, okay?"

They were still at Autor's house, in his bedroom in fact, even though he was nowhere to be found. He nodded again, tentatively this time. "Are you sure you're okay? You don't…remember anything, do you?"

Ahiru's face revealed nothing. "No… I think I just fainted because I was left in that cold, cold forest and then I sat beside a fire. Change in temperature too quickly causes colds." She said very matter-of-factly. "Just go back to sleep, Fakir. I'm going to take a shower."

He settled back into the uncomfortable chair he had been sleeping on, and now that Ahiru was safe and awake, he fell back into a peaceful slumber. Ahiru, as promised, went into the bathroom adjoining to Autor's bedroom and turned on the shower faucet. In the shower, she wondered how much she had missed. Of course, she must have missed a day or two of ballet, considering Fakir's unsightly appearance. They must have been there for a few days. '_Or did I faint on Friday…? Goodness, I faint too much that it isn't a big deal anymore._' Ahiru mused. Drying herself off and putting on the clothes that she had on before, she tiptoed out of Autor's bedroom, pausing only to revel in the peaceful atmosphere that Fakir slept in.

Her dripping hair put droplets of water on the floor, but she figured that Autor wouldn't mind. As Ahiru entered the common room, she still did not see Autor anywhere. The room was a mess, though. Books and pamphlets of all sizes were everywhere, none of the book names making sense to one another. One read, _The Process of Writing Fairytales for Dummies_; another read _All the Information You Need to About Birds! Letters A – R_; another read _A Walk Down Memory Lane: How to Regain_. Assuming that Fakir got this book for her, Ahiru smiled widely and flipped to the first page to start reading. However, something white and green caught her attention.

Walking toward the charred and cold fireplace, she picked out two singed dolls, what she had seen a few days ago. Even though they were burnt, they definitely still were beautifully carved. "Edel and Uzura," she muttered, weighing both dolls in either hands, "How do I know their names?"

"Beautiful, aren't they?" Autor's voice had startled her, and she accidently dropped the dolls. They fell to the floor with a loud sound, and Autor dropped down to pick them up carefully, lovingly. "I had always kept them above my fireplace for some odd reason, but I could not remember what significance they had in my life until…" Autor bored into Ahiru's eyes, and she looked away, not appreciating his stare.

Nervously but also excitedly she asked, "Did that mean you lost your memory too?"

"I guess you can say that."

"What happened so that you regained it, then?"

"Someone helped me offset it, and I remembered."

Seeing that she wouldn't get any other information of his life because he was being so vague, she then said, "Maybe if _I_ meet someone from my former life, I'll remember my past!"

"Isn't that already happening?" Autor asked, once again so vaguely, but with a mischievous, almost knowing smile on his face.

Face contorting into confusion, she looked at the two wooden dolls in Autor's hands. Once again, she queried, more to herself, "How did I know their names…"

Autor only smiled and walked out into the porch, and Ahiru followed. From Autor's house, she could not see Kinkan Town, so she stared out into the forest, only know seeing the rocky path that Autor and she followed to get to the house a few days ago. Sighing and looking anxiously at the doorway, Author said in defeat, "I'm only going to answer some questions before Fakir wakes up, now hurry."

Ahiru didn't miss a beat or questioned why Autor suddenly gave her this favor, "Why can I remember Rue and myself dancing and their names," signifying the two wooden dolls in Autor's hand, "but I can't remember anything else?"

"They were some very important things in your life; seeing them or doing them allowed you to remember some aspects of your life, but not all of it. My…_guess_ is that if you find some more of these things that were important in your former life, you'd be able to remember your whole past."

"What are the rest of those things? I need to remember my past, Autor, it's _killing_ me."

Autor shrugged. "That's up to you to find. It was your life, after all. I shouldn't know what was important in your life before."

Ahiru looked at him suspiciously. "But if you knew didn't know, how would you be able to answer these questions that I have right now?"

Author licked his lips and once again looked at the doorway. "I admit, I once knew you—"

"_What?_ Why did you not tell me this before?" Ahiru exclaimed, her eyes wide.

"_Albeit _not that well, but I knew you. I saw you around. You…helped me on one occasion, and I returned that favor later." His eyes faced the forest wistfully. "You helped most people here in Kinkan Town, Ahiru. You had—still have—a good heart."

"If that's the case, then why hasn't anyone approached me about knowing me?"

"Oh, they know you alright. It's just that they're not _supposed_ to tell you anything, no matter how much you beg. Fakir has told them that it's for your own benefit, that it would be better for you to regain your memories on your own. Either they're too scared or adoring of Fakir to tell you, or they do care for you to get your past back naturally. Plus, most of your past is rather hard to hear," he cringed, not supposed to say that, but Ahiru was focused on something else.

"Wait. _Fakir _has asked them not to reveal anything?"

"Don't take it personally. Fakir is really concerned for your well-being. It even says, in the book you're holding," she held up the forgotten book in her hands, almost surprised that she was holding it, "that it would be beneficial for you to regain it naturally."

There was another _clang_ of the Clock Tower, and Autor looked at her with a crazed expression, "Listen to me. Don't _ever_ mention this conversation to Fakir. It would not end well for the both of us. Don't even acknowledge me more than you did before. I'm sorry that we couldn't have more time to discuss this matter further and that we probably never will after this conversation, but it's for your own wellbeing—"

"Ahiru?" Fakir's voice emanated from inside, confused.

"Do you promise not to tell him?" Author begged, gripping her arms with eyes still demented.

Ahiru, in horror, nodded, and he eventually sobered. She walked toward the doorway, saying, "Coming Fakir! I'm ready to go!" She said, with her usual excitement. She looked back unsurely to Autor, where he stood in the same spot. She turned toward the doorway once again and didn't look back when he said, with some emotion that she could not decipher but made the hairs on her arms stand nonetheless,

"Just remember, Ahiru. This town knows more about you than you know about yourself."


	17. Deliberate Mistake

**Disclaimer: I don't own Princess Tutu at all. **

torixx3 - Thanks for your long reply! haha. I've been dancing for almost a decade, I guess you can say, but I stopped two or three years in between during my sixth to eighth grade year. So essentially I've danced for like seven or eight? lol. I've danced ballet the longest though, and it's my favorite. All in all, I've danced ballet, pointe, modern, jazz, choreography, and tap. I understand your injuries though, as a fellow dancer. I almost fainted during my pointe lesson one morning last month because I didn't eat breakfast and it was just not a good experience. But since then I've performed four dances flat on stage and a short piece on pointe. Definitely look into it for the summer. Even if you don't like ballet (it's not for everyone), you'll get great dancer experience out of it because the regimen for ballet is really hardcore.

Homurapop22156 - Thank you! I really hope that you will like this chapter. It doesn't really connect to Ahiru regaining her memory but it is very essential in depicting the progress Fakir/Ahiru's relationship.

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**Fakir's POV**

It had been two weeks since Ahiru's last fainting spell, and she still showed no signs of recalling anything from her past. Learning this, I was majorly relieved. However, a little voice in the back of my head—probably Drosselmeyer—nagged me, '_So selfish, so selfish, keeping Ahiru from _herself._'_ Since then, I had been unable to write anything properly because the voice kept bothering me. Like now.

"Fakir, are you okay?" I blinked, and Ahiru's big, cerulean eyes stared at me. Reddening, I sat up straight from the slumped position that I took in the chair. Ahiru had invited me to the dance studio to help her with some choreography for the upcoming dance recital in several days, and I appeased only after she allowed me to bring some of work that I had been unable to complete because of my writer's block.

"Yeah, yeah. Just spaced out there for a moment." I stuttered uncharacteristically.

She puckered her lips cutely and promptly sat on my lap. "He—Hey! What are you doing?" I exclaimed, now turning purple, as I saw in the studio's mirrors.

Ahiru put a finger to my lips. "Be quiet. You've been helping me for the past hour, so I suppose that I should help you with your work now. After all, it was my fault that you missed all of that work anyways," I opened my mouth to disagree, that I had writer's block, but she pinched my lips together, "Hm. I didn't know that you wrote these kinds of stories Fakir."

It was the story of one of my neighbors, who had recently lost her husband who provided for her family. It was a loveless marriage, one that was arranged between their parents, so she was not upset that she had lost her husband. The woman wanted to be with her lover, the one she had wanted to originally marry, but he was poor, and her parents rose objections when he asked for her hand in marriage. Now that she was widowed, she was going to go to her parents again and ask herself, but as soon as she got to her parents' home, they introduced her to another man she was to marry—her dead husband's twin brother.

So far, I did not know what to write next, how to give my neighbor a happy ending, so she was probably caught in a dilemma as I pondered how to help her. Time was running out, however; I could not wait too much time or else the story would complete itself on its own, probably with an ending that all of the characters would be upset with. Nonetheless, that story was the least of my problems now; I had switched some of the papers so that Ahiru's story was jumbled between the pages. I did not want Ahiru to find out—'_What?'_ The voice in my head mocked, _'You don't want her to find out that you knew her before? That you knew her past and were a part of it? Or that you have a power to create reality through writing words? You don't want her to find this special ability and think you're crazy, do you not?'_

And then again, how could she _not_ know that it was my passion to write fairytales? How much contentment I would get when I carefully wrote the "... And they lived happily every after," or something of the sort at the end of each story? I wondered how much _this _Ahiru, not the one of the past who went through so much _shit_, knew about me. Did I want to risk her reliving her past in order to really know me?

Before I could sort out my conflicting thoughts, Ahiru asked, "Is this a class project?"

"What? Oh yeah—yes, it's for English."

"Hm, so you'd probably want a happy ending; your teacher is a romance-obsessed, right?" I nodded. "The main character in this story probably would not want history to repeat itself by marrying her dead husband's twin, so I think she should probably outright say that she would like to marry the one she really loves. Maybe the problem in the beginning was that because her lover asked her parents for her hand in marriage and since she didn't ask herself, her parents thought that she would rather marry a rich guy." She looked up with a finger to her chin. "At least, that's what I would have written."

I looked down at the black ink, the scripted words and blurted softly, "What if just telling them isn't enough? Sometimes people know what to say in their heads, but it can possibly only make the situation worse," I looked at her with a crazed expression, and she jumped reflexively, "What if she wants to make everyone happy, but she has to risk her own happiness in the process? And then, what if she wants the opposite? What if the only thing she wants is to be with the one she loves, but she has to risk her lover in the process? It just won't make sense, and whatever I do, I just can't write a happy ending!" I exploded, grabbing her by the shoulders.

Somehow, the story just didn't seem like someone else's anymore.

A few moments passed by. I was still heaving, eyes bloodshot red, and Ahiru still sat on my lap, unsure and weary. "Sorry, I just—I'm having a really hard time with this story right now." I placed my hands over my face, embarrassment now settling in at my outburst.

In a soft voice and a pat on my back, Ahiru reassured, "It's only a fairytale, Fakir."

She didn't understand. Why did I think she would? "Yeah, just a fairytale…" I muttered sardonically.

.

...

.

**Ahiru's POV**

I couldn't understand what it was with all these men being so crazed around me so suddenly and consistently. After several minutes of coaxing, I had Fakir forget his outburst and return to the person I knew—sarcastic but caring. He was standing on the floor now, and I set a record on the player, music from the _grand pas de deux_ of the Nutcracker emanating from its great horn. I was practicing the _pas de deux_, flat instead of pointe, because my clumsiness would have not made for a great performance.

We started downstage at opposite corners of the dance floor. I almost missed the beginning, which was the easiest thing in the world, preparation to second and a walk toward and away from Fakir, toe-ball-heeling once again to our respective corners. It's just that Fakir looked so regal and visibly grew at least two inches as his posture became one of a dancer and not one of a writer slumped at his desk. I _bour__é__ed _in fourth toward him, and he gently took my hand. Feeling the unique strength of a writer as well as the callouses his writing hardships had given him, I trusted that he would not let go as I _dévelopéed _forward. He turned me in a _pique_, and I lifted my leg into a high _attitude. _He turned me while I was in _attitude_, and halfway I brought my leg back to _retiré. _He caught me, and once again I trusted him not to let go as I leaned backward, seeing myself in the mirror behind me. In classical ballet, exaggeration is key. We repeated the same steps again twice, and reiterated most of the moves that followed.

In the _bourr__é__s _afterward, he went backward as I went forward, connected by one hand. Our other hands made a perfect heart. He led me as I split in the air while on _relev__é_ and a _pique arabesque _in the other direction. Our moves were perfectly synchronized as they executed their _chasée _and _saut__é_, ending side by side in a _soutenu_. While he was behind me, we completed a _glissade_ together. But when I _pas de chat_, he lifted me so high in the air that I didn't have time to scream. In this beginner rendition of the _pas de deux_, the partners were not supposed to do any lifts. Just as soon as it happened, it was over, and he was settling me down for a _pirouette_ from fifth position. Since we had to repeat this move, I was prepared since I had already done the move a first time. Once he lifted me into _pas de chat, _I looked into his eyes. They were holding my gaze lovingly, knowingly.

And it scared the hell out of me.

It scared me that someone could know me so well, when I realized that I really didn't know him at all. His eyes, painfully clichéd as it was, seemed to bore into my soul and be able to analyze it as easily as one of his English papers. His smirk—no, his _smile_—obviously displayed that he was remembering a special memory. And his hands—_oh_, his hands—carried my lithe body with such tenderness that it was hard noticing that he was holding me in the air. It seemed like I was calculating everything about him, while he easily knew everything about me.

So I fell. My body contracted, and my posture fell, which put on unnecessary weight. Even Fakir's resilient arms could not hold out while gripping my body high in the air. We tumbled to the floor clumsily, and I took the fall harder since I was higher in the air.

"What the hell—Ahiru!" He struggled to get out.

"Sorry," I said, holding my leg to my torso.

"Are you okay?" He asked gruffly, in a voice that didn't really want to care but actually did.

"Yeah, I think I just bruised myself. Nothing serious," I explained nonchalantly. My clumsiness had made for worse injuries beforehand. "It's your fault for executing a lift that I couldn't do," I teased with not much ardor as usual, not wanting to look in his eyes or his direction even.

"Well, I think we're over for today… Good work," He said, an unsatisfied tone lacing his seemingly harmless words. He offered me a hand, but I got up on my own.

As he stalked out of the room, cold tension in the air, I stared at his unfeeling posture. I thought that underlying that taciturn demeanor was the person that fussed over me when I fainted, the person that worried when I was left out in the rain, the person that cared enough about my feelings to enroll me in Kinkan High for ballet, and ultimately, was _love_. Instead, I gazed at a person that I barely knew anything about. I questioned, _Who are you really, Fakir?_

* * *

**So we get to hear Ahiru's thoughts instead of Fakir's in their second _pas de deux_. I want to hear your thoughts now! Please review :)**


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